The most powerful force in the universe bounces off of my chest every morning. I AM Superman.
Secondly, to me- Jesus healing the cripple man's body wasnt the incredible miracle. What astonishes me is that the man even knew how to use his new legs, so much so that he ran. I have a sore on the bottom of my foot, and I still limp whether or not it actually hurts. How amazing is it that by a touch, Jesus transformed and renewed the mans mind so that he knew how to run again. I guess that is what Christ is suppose to do to our minds. Transform them.... think about it.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Jubilee Conference... One week ago.
One week ago I went to a conference in Pittsburgh. It was called the Jubilee conference. For the most part, it was a series of lectures and social events for three days surrounding around the idea of moving college students into action to change the world around them. For me, it was both informative, in that I learned how really screwed the world is, but it was also a great time of reflection. While I was there, I wrote in my notebook an entry that I promised myself I was going to post on here no matter how it turned out. It has been a week, there has been no editing to this...so here goes nothing. Please forgive my tardiness.
My thoughts:
Since I can remember, I have been a fixer by nature. This has lead me into computers and engineering because they were constant problems that needed fixing. However, I soon grew tired because I had no goal or purpose, and I was not in complete dependence of God. For some reason, I have not expected the ways Gd has guided my life. My soccer career ended in a strange way. I was fouled out setting a precedent for the game. My friends were being bullied around and I grew tired of it and so I set a standard. We went from loosing with a full team to finally pulling through and tying into overtime, but loosing the shootout. Then, I saw myself as a failure, but perhaps it was not about winning the game but learning the lesson. In school, I was always the devils advocate against the teachers. This was not out of rebellion, but because I was tired of authority trampling people. In high school, my great task was debate. However, that crumbled as I grew tired of twisting the truth and I grew tired of arguing against little challenge, only for my own glorification. So, instead of moving forward in politics, I abandoned that outlet. But now, i can see that once again there was a lesson to be learned in my experiences. Though debate, I learned that: just because someone wins an argument does not make them right, it makes them persuasive. So, alas, here I stand at Grove City College seeking God and trying to see how I can help the world. Here is what I know about myself:
-- I have to be helping people to be happy in life.
-- I feel called to defend the underdog, purify the faith, and witness to the intellectuals and the powerful.
-- I am the happiness when I am fixing problems.
So, here is what i feel I must do for the fulfillment of Gods will in my life. This has come by revelation, and is in interesting timing with the rest of my life.
I need to place myself in the cross-hairs of the huge problems of life and just be me. Only admits the storms have I ever felt right/ happy/ complete. So, if I want to seek the will of God in my life – I need to place myself in the storms of life and start working. Then, let the favor and gifts God has given me begin to transform this world.
Ironically, I sit here in the second session of the Jubilee conference wondering why my affinity for books ifs fading. I walked around their book stand, thinking- these are all the same and none of them are actions, just words..... (and interestingly enough) the speaker just started talking about how books are not life. He said “You can get straight A's and still flunk life”.
My thoughts:
Since I can remember, I have been a fixer by nature. This has lead me into computers and engineering because they were constant problems that needed fixing. However, I soon grew tired because I had no goal or purpose, and I was not in complete dependence of God. For some reason, I have not expected the ways Gd has guided my life. My soccer career ended in a strange way. I was fouled out setting a precedent for the game. My friends were being bullied around and I grew tired of it and so I set a standard. We went from loosing with a full team to finally pulling through and tying into overtime, but loosing the shootout. Then, I saw myself as a failure, but perhaps it was not about winning the game but learning the lesson. In school, I was always the devils advocate against the teachers. This was not out of rebellion, but because I was tired of authority trampling people. In high school, my great task was debate. However, that crumbled as I grew tired of twisting the truth and I grew tired of arguing against little challenge, only for my own glorification. So, instead of moving forward in politics, I abandoned that outlet. But now, i can see that once again there was a lesson to be learned in my experiences. Though debate, I learned that: just because someone wins an argument does not make them right, it makes them persuasive. So, alas, here I stand at Grove City College seeking God and trying to see how I can help the world. Here is what I know about myself:
-- I have to be helping people to be happy in life.
-- I feel called to defend the underdog, purify the faith, and witness to the intellectuals and the powerful.
-- I am the happiness when I am fixing problems.
So, here is what i feel I must do for the fulfillment of Gods will in my life. This has come by revelation, and is in interesting timing with the rest of my life.
I need to place myself in the cross-hairs of the huge problems of life and just be me. Only admits the storms have I ever felt right/ happy/ complete. So, if I want to seek the will of God in my life – I need to place myself in the storms of life and start working. Then, let the favor and gifts God has given me begin to transform this world.
Ironically, I sit here in the second session of the Jubilee conference wondering why my affinity for books ifs fading. I walked around their book stand, thinking- these are all the same and none of them are actions, just words..... (and interestingly enough) the speaker just started talking about how books are not life. He said “You can get straight A's and still flunk life”.
Monday, February 12, 2007
My New Life
Interesting factoids about my new life:
1) My roomates rock. I am really glad that I have two roomates. I know a lot of people complain about the whole roomate situation, but I think if you get a group of individuals who are relativly considerate to each other, it can be really great to live together.
2) I do not mind asking the "hard questions". In class today, I asked my professor, essentially, whether or not a Christian could be possessed by a demon. You would have thought that I just shot someone. The entire class fell silent, but alas, the professor gave a great answer. I am not sure why people are so afraid of stepping on other's toes. But I am not. Granted, that has to be balanced with respect... which brings me to the next topic
3) Life is an interesting game of balance. Not just in the way you act and react, but also in the way with you deal with your inherent personality. I think that we all have natural personalities, that for whatever reason, we just have. Understandably, there is something to be said about becoming a "better person". However, I do not think that means that we are all suppose to be the same. For all negative personality traits, I think there are two ways they can hurt you. First, and most obviously, the negative nature of them (like anger, lack of self-control, being conceited, etc.) can hurt you and other people. However, what I didnt realize, was that overly opressing them can also hurt you and other people. I have several things that I have "struggled" with for a long time. I had a serious anger problem, I talked too much, I was apparently insensitive, I had a dominating personality, and I had a way of asking too many questions that were too deep, either intellectually, or emotionally probing. For the longest time I have been fighting all of those natural impulse- and I believe that it has done me good. But, there is something to be said that we were all given natural personality traits to do our plan and purpose with. To me, it only makes sense that Satan would attack, tempt, and frustrate us with our strengths, so that we would think they were weaknesses. For so long I have thought of my capacity for adrenaline, my audacity, my probing nature were negative traits that I needed to "oppress" if I was going to be a mature person. But now I am realizing that those traits, if viewed properly, can be very instrumental in life.
Case in Point: I think it is safe to say that many of the areas we think are our "weaknesses" are really are strengths. The good book once said "God will use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise". I think that it is parallel to my mini-sermon here, lol
4) I am learning once again that communication is key to having relationships with people. I have always been a proponent of talking- but in the last few years, I have thought that it was only plaguing... now I am once again assured that communication is key to any type of relationship you want to have, whether it is familial, romantic, or friendship.
5) You know you have left Oklahoma when you walk outside and think "Wow, it has warmed up"... and then you realize that it is actually 26 degrees... which, is "warmer" than -15... life is funny.
6) Laughter is the key to life. If you arent laughing, you need to change something, or find someone who will make you laugh. I dont see the point in living if we can be happy and laugh.
7) Making fun of people to get a laugh can be good... in very small quantities. That is something I need to work on.
8) I work harder than my roomates. Well, maybe not harder, but def. longer. I go to sleep after them most nights, and wake up before them. Currently I am averaging 6-7 hours a night. So far, I feel fine. Though, a nice 30 min afternoon nap is becoming my friend.
9) I love music, without it- I can easily go crazy. Whether it is worship music or secular self-expression... I am a sucker for a good rhythm and some nice lyrics.
10) I love my family. I miss being around them sometimes. I have a great family. Every one of them are incredible, and uniquely special to me.
11) I like the cold, but it does make me miss the lake. I think I am going to really appreciate the lake and spending time with my family more this summer.
12) I avoid doing homework by blogging. Like now... bye
1) My roomates rock. I am really glad that I have two roomates. I know a lot of people complain about the whole roomate situation, but I think if you get a group of individuals who are relativly considerate to each other, it can be really great to live together.
2) I do not mind asking the "hard questions". In class today, I asked my professor, essentially, whether or not a Christian could be possessed by a demon. You would have thought that I just shot someone. The entire class fell silent, but alas, the professor gave a great answer. I am not sure why people are so afraid of stepping on other's toes. But I am not. Granted, that has to be balanced with respect... which brings me to the next topic
3) Life is an interesting game of balance. Not just in the way you act and react, but also in the way with you deal with your inherent personality. I think that we all have natural personalities, that for whatever reason, we just have. Understandably, there is something to be said about becoming a "better person". However, I do not think that means that we are all suppose to be the same. For all negative personality traits, I think there are two ways they can hurt you. First, and most obviously, the negative nature of them (like anger, lack of self-control, being conceited, etc.) can hurt you and other people. However, what I didnt realize, was that overly opressing them can also hurt you and other people. I have several things that I have "struggled" with for a long time. I had a serious anger problem, I talked too much, I was apparently insensitive, I had a dominating personality, and I had a way of asking too many questions that were too deep, either intellectually, or emotionally probing. For the longest time I have been fighting all of those natural impulse- and I believe that it has done me good. But, there is something to be said that we were all given natural personality traits to do our plan and purpose with. To me, it only makes sense that Satan would attack, tempt, and frustrate us with our strengths, so that we would think they were weaknesses. For so long I have thought of my capacity for adrenaline, my audacity, my probing nature were negative traits that I needed to "oppress" if I was going to be a mature person. But now I am realizing that those traits, if viewed properly, can be very instrumental in life.
Case in Point: I think it is safe to say that many of the areas we think are our "weaknesses" are really are strengths. The good book once said "God will use the foolish things of this world to confound the wise". I think that it is parallel to my mini-sermon here, lol
4) I am learning once again that communication is key to having relationships with people. I have always been a proponent of talking- but in the last few years, I have thought that it was only plaguing... now I am once again assured that communication is key to any type of relationship you want to have, whether it is familial, romantic, or friendship.
5) You know you have left Oklahoma when you walk outside and think "Wow, it has warmed up"... and then you realize that it is actually 26 degrees... which, is "warmer" than -15... life is funny.
6) Laughter is the key to life. If you arent laughing, you need to change something, or find someone who will make you laugh. I dont see the point in living if we can be happy and laugh.
7) Making fun of people to get a laugh can be good... in very small quantities. That is something I need to work on.
8) I work harder than my roomates. Well, maybe not harder, but def. longer. I go to sleep after them most nights, and wake up before them. Currently I am averaging 6-7 hours a night. So far, I feel fine. Though, a nice 30 min afternoon nap is becoming my friend.
9) I love music, without it- I can easily go crazy. Whether it is worship music or secular self-expression... I am a sucker for a good rhythm and some nice lyrics.
10) I love my family. I miss being around them sometimes. I have a great family. Every one of them are incredible, and uniquely special to me.
11) I like the cold, but it does make me miss the lake. I think I am going to really appreciate the lake and spending time with my family more this summer.
12) I avoid doing homework by blogging. Like now... bye
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Encouragement
I should ammend my previous post by saying that I now know that my words and actions did in fact have some impact on the group. If nothing else, I know it has helped to guide the leadership's vision of the direction this group needs to go.
However, I do still believe that my exposure to this group should be limited to some degree as I feel it is just not my place to be a part of this group yet. Time will tell.
******************
Also, one more addendum. I would also like to reiterate my first post- This blog is not for the purpose of instruction any/ all of its readers as to what the direct truth of life it. It is, instead, a means by which I get my thoughts on God, life, and such out into the open. I will not post something on here unless I am atleast 90% sure of its truth. However, seeing as how all of this is in my constant pursuit of truth, I do appreciate any and all criticism of these ideas if you feel such opposed, because I do want to know the truth of God, and I refuse to be trapped in the bubble of my own mind.
However, I do still believe that my exposure to this group should be limited to some degree as I feel it is just not my place to be a part of this group yet. Time will tell.
******************
Also, one more addendum. I would also like to reiterate my first post- This blog is not for the purpose of instruction any/ all of its readers as to what the direct truth of life it. It is, instead, a means by which I get my thoughts on God, life, and such out into the open. I will not post something on here unless I am atleast 90% sure of its truth. However, seeing as how all of this is in my constant pursuit of truth, I do appreciate any and all criticism of these ideas if you feel such opposed, because I do want to know the truth of God, and I refuse to be trapped in the bubble of my own mind.
Monday, February 05, 2007
silence
I have trouble being quiet. I learned that tonight. I went to a small-group / community group tonight and listened to a sermon. Through the worship, and the praying, and the sermon... I just kept yelling to myself all of these things I felt needed to be said. They were seeking God, and I knew that I should remain silent because they need to find them through their own ways- but I so felt that I knew the "missing link", and I felt such an urge to share it. So, needless to say, I did. Then, time went on, it was all good, so I shared another thought. Then, everyone just stared at me. Shortly there after one of the "main people" tried to clear up what I said to make it fit the group... but it was then that I learned my lesson.
Perhaps sometimes God wants me to just be quiet. I was silent for so long, but when it came out, it just exploded, and apparently I was "preaching"... which for some reason, I did not want to do. I guess it would be easier for me to think that what I said was of God, but I know that I did it with a caviot in the back of my head that perhaps these people should learn it themselves. Sadly, I do not think they understood what I was saying. But, perhaps someone did.
I pray that it did help someone. I just hope that this does not inhibit my future dealings with these people / this group. Next time, I will try and be more "community" and less "pastoral". If there is a next time.... lol
Perhaps sometimes God wants me to just be quiet. I was silent for so long, but when it came out, it just exploded, and apparently I was "preaching"... which for some reason, I did not want to do. I guess it would be easier for me to think that what I said was of God, but I know that I did it with a caviot in the back of my head that perhaps these people should learn it themselves. Sadly, I do not think they understood what I was saying. But, perhaps someone did.
I pray that it did help someone. I just hope that this does not inhibit my future dealings with these people / this group. Next time, I will try and be more "community" and less "pastoral". If there is a next time.... lol
Dominion
Okay, so I have written this three times, and it has been deleted each time by my computer... so either it is going to be really good, or really bad. I don't have time to explain it all right now, but I am just going to outline the points and come back to it later.
When Adam was created, he was given dominion over all of creation. However, because of the fall, he lost that dominion, and was held subject to the ways of nature. When Jesus was offered as a sacrifice, it allowed those who pursued a relationship with God to be restored to a pre-fall state, where as we could actually have a true, unadulterated relationship with God. Heb 10 tells us that the sacrifice of Jesus was ultimate and finished. Unlike the old covenant, where people need to be constantly attoned for, and constantly seek forgiveness- Salvation through Jesus was a once and for all deal, where as it not only covered your sins, but washed the entire idea of sin away for all of eternity so that those who believed in God and pursued a relationship with Him would not need to be burdened by sin.
Now, most people leave the analysis right there; however, I think it can go one step further. When God created all that is, he not only created it ex nihilo (out of nothing), but he instilled his image into it, and made it part of His creation that He Himself would live, to some end, within His creation so that He could have a relationship with His creation. Pre-Adam, we know that God walked through the garden with them. Pre-Jesus, we know that the spirit of God was behind the Holy vial. And now, the Spirit of God (Holy Spirit), runs freely throughout the creation.
So, here is where things begin to get interesting. Many people have this idea that here on earth, we live in the physical, or natural. In heaven, and in another spiritual dimension, there exists the supernatural. Even if you believe Eph 6, that “our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the ... spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places”- I would venture to say that you would still believe that the spiritual world still exists in a separate place, but has a profound impact on our lives.
Now, here is where it might get confusing. I would like to venture to say that there is no separate “natural world”, nor a distinct “supernatural realm”... case in point, Jesus. When He came down to earth, his actions did not seem to be a great bridging of the cosmos. His miracles seemed common place to Him. Casting out demons was not a ritual or a process, but rather- He spoke, and they obeyed. When Jesus was talking to the Roman soldier about his son being possessed, the Roman soldier said that just as he could speak to one of his soldiers and they would obey, so could Jesus speak to a demon and they would obey, because they were under His authority. Because of this, Jesus said the man had greater faith than anyone he encountered.
Every time Jesus spoke about miracles, driving out demons, or enacting the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, it seemed to be “by faith”... which simply means believing the correct reality. Many people today want to go through drawn out ceremonies, or prayer battles to do “supernatural things”. However, I would suggest that such a view of the world is not correct. I believe that there is no distinct supernatural realm. Instead, what we would consider natural and supernatural exist together. Case in point, I believe we are living in the supernatural. All that is limiting us is our unbelief, or rather- our misguided belief. Many people view the supernatural or spiritual realm as something distinctly different. However, that just does not seem to be the case. Jesus did not talk in hypothetical when it came to doing spiritual things. He showed that the merging of such two ideas, was simply done by faith and by speech. Even when he responded to His apostles who were unable to cast out a demon, he told them “this kind comes by prayer and fasting”. Now, I might be wrong by saying this, but this is how I see that response... What do prayer and fasting do but to give you more faith in God. I would venture to say that prayer and fasting are for devoutly seeking God, and based on that search of God, you become close to Him and start to realize the truth of His creation. Therefore, giving you the authority in His creation. When Adam and Eve fell, they did so because their minds became so flooded with knowledge that they were unable to seek God through all the clutter. They disobeyed His commandment, and so they were put in a position where they would have to seek God, instead of just enjoying His fellowship.
However, now we have the ability to live and breathe with God as we walk in our day to day. We know that God is living with us, and we should know that the world we are living in is no different, in a structural sense, than it was when Jesus performed His miracles. Therefore, if we are walking in the supernatural, and if our relationship with God, through Christ is such that the Kingdom of Heaven is our everyday lives, then we have the same authority over earth that Adam was given pre-fall. That means we have authority over all areas of this world.
Now, here is an interesting thought that will perhaps make you all think I have lost my mind. It is my own personal extrapolation, so take it with a grain of salt. Miracles, as we understand them, can all be explained by a supernatural phenomena. Jesus jumping through time and space can be theoretically explained by string theory, Jesus healing people can be explained by Him speaking order to that persons bodily functions, and such an action would be simply the speaker commanding that part of creation to act in the way it was designed, and not in the way it was. Now, this is not to say that we are all meant to be in ideal function, because I know different bodies were made different ways, for different reasons- but to the end God has given us authority, or rather dominion, we should have the ability to shape and mold His creation as our spirit guides us, and tells us how it should be. Jesus walking on the water can be explained by his atoms resisting the pull of attraction to the earth (gravity), and/or his atoms distributing his weight perfectly over the water. Ultimately, anything is possible if one had the authority to command it so (as long as it was within the creation of God) because we were not given the ability to create ex nihilo, but we were given the authority to command the already present creation.
However, I will append to this that we are told to not worship the miracles. In Luke 10:19-20 we are reminded to “not rejoice [that we have authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and all the power of the enemy], but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Now, granted, this was probably written to dissuade the cults that bite snakes and what-not to show the power of God. But still, it is a reminder that life with God is not about all the cool stuff we can do, but rather about a relationship with Him.
I guess then the point of this long post is to tell you that in Christ, all things really are possible to Him that believe, and even though your relationship with God might be pulling you in such a direction that you do not see as practice or even possible.... stretch your imagination a bit a just get it into your thick skull that God is bigger than your dreams and your reality. So seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. That includes understanding, and sense of reality around you. Too often, I find myself limited by my comfort zone, or at least only allowing direction from God to send me into the norms of life. But why should I let my own mind limit what God can and cant do when I know my own mind doesn't even know what I can and cant do. Even if you had some trouble with the talk on the supernatural, surely you can agree that you do not even know your own abilities. If you don't even know yourself, then why on earth should we ever think that we know God.
So, dream big, follow God, and stop constraining the guidance of the Holy Spirit to your own logic and understanding. If you want to really work for something, work for a relationship with God where you can be sensitive to the guidance of the spirit and trust it as you trust your relationship with God. Then, maybe he will call a few more of us out onto the waters
When Adam was created, he was given dominion over all of creation. However, because of the fall, he lost that dominion, and was held subject to the ways of nature. When Jesus was offered as a sacrifice, it allowed those who pursued a relationship with God to be restored to a pre-fall state, where as we could actually have a true, unadulterated relationship with God. Heb 10 tells us that the sacrifice of Jesus was ultimate and finished. Unlike the old covenant, where people need to be constantly attoned for, and constantly seek forgiveness- Salvation through Jesus was a once and for all deal, where as it not only covered your sins, but washed the entire idea of sin away for all of eternity so that those who believed in God and pursued a relationship with Him would not need to be burdened by sin.
Now, most people leave the analysis right there; however, I think it can go one step further. When God created all that is, he not only created it ex nihilo (out of nothing), but he instilled his image into it, and made it part of His creation that He Himself would live, to some end, within His creation so that He could have a relationship with His creation. Pre-Adam, we know that God walked through the garden with them. Pre-Jesus, we know that the spirit of God was behind the Holy vial. And now, the Spirit of God (Holy Spirit), runs freely throughout the creation.
So, here is where things begin to get interesting. Many people have this idea that here on earth, we live in the physical, or natural. In heaven, and in another spiritual dimension, there exists the supernatural. Even if you believe Eph 6, that “our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the ... spiritual forces of evil in heavenly places”- I would venture to say that you would still believe that the spiritual world still exists in a separate place, but has a profound impact on our lives.
Now, here is where it might get confusing. I would like to venture to say that there is no separate “natural world”, nor a distinct “supernatural realm”... case in point, Jesus. When He came down to earth, his actions did not seem to be a great bridging of the cosmos. His miracles seemed common place to Him. Casting out demons was not a ritual or a process, but rather- He spoke, and they obeyed. When Jesus was talking to the Roman soldier about his son being possessed, the Roman soldier said that just as he could speak to one of his soldiers and they would obey, so could Jesus speak to a demon and they would obey, because they were under His authority. Because of this, Jesus said the man had greater faith than anyone he encountered.
Every time Jesus spoke about miracles, driving out demons, or enacting the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, it seemed to be “by faith”... which simply means believing the correct reality. Many people today want to go through drawn out ceremonies, or prayer battles to do “supernatural things”. However, I would suggest that such a view of the world is not correct. I believe that there is no distinct supernatural realm. Instead, what we would consider natural and supernatural exist together. Case in point, I believe we are living in the supernatural. All that is limiting us is our unbelief, or rather- our misguided belief. Many people view the supernatural or spiritual realm as something distinctly different. However, that just does not seem to be the case. Jesus did not talk in hypothetical when it came to doing spiritual things. He showed that the merging of such two ideas, was simply done by faith and by speech. Even when he responded to His apostles who were unable to cast out a demon, he told them “this kind comes by prayer and fasting”. Now, I might be wrong by saying this, but this is how I see that response... What do prayer and fasting do but to give you more faith in God. I would venture to say that prayer and fasting are for devoutly seeking God, and based on that search of God, you become close to Him and start to realize the truth of His creation. Therefore, giving you the authority in His creation. When Adam and Eve fell, they did so because their minds became so flooded with knowledge that they were unable to seek God through all the clutter. They disobeyed His commandment, and so they were put in a position where they would have to seek God, instead of just enjoying His fellowship.
However, now we have the ability to live and breathe with God as we walk in our day to day. We know that God is living with us, and we should know that the world we are living in is no different, in a structural sense, than it was when Jesus performed His miracles. Therefore, if we are walking in the supernatural, and if our relationship with God, through Christ is such that the Kingdom of Heaven is our everyday lives, then we have the same authority over earth that Adam was given pre-fall. That means we have authority over all areas of this world.
Now, here is an interesting thought that will perhaps make you all think I have lost my mind. It is my own personal extrapolation, so take it with a grain of salt. Miracles, as we understand them, can all be explained by a supernatural phenomena. Jesus jumping through time and space can be theoretically explained by string theory, Jesus healing people can be explained by Him speaking order to that persons bodily functions, and such an action would be simply the speaker commanding that part of creation to act in the way it was designed, and not in the way it was. Now, this is not to say that we are all meant to be in ideal function, because I know different bodies were made different ways, for different reasons- but to the end God has given us authority, or rather dominion, we should have the ability to shape and mold His creation as our spirit guides us, and tells us how it should be. Jesus walking on the water can be explained by his atoms resisting the pull of attraction to the earth (gravity), and/or his atoms distributing his weight perfectly over the water. Ultimately, anything is possible if one had the authority to command it so (as long as it was within the creation of God) because we were not given the ability to create ex nihilo, but we were given the authority to command the already present creation.
However, I will append to this that we are told to not worship the miracles. In Luke 10:19-20 we are reminded to “not rejoice [that we have authority to tread on snakes and scorpions and all the power of the enemy], but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” Now, granted, this was probably written to dissuade the cults that bite snakes and what-not to show the power of God. But still, it is a reminder that life with God is not about all the cool stuff we can do, but rather about a relationship with Him.
I guess then the point of this long post is to tell you that in Christ, all things really are possible to Him that believe, and even though your relationship with God might be pulling you in such a direction that you do not see as practice or even possible.... stretch your imagination a bit a just get it into your thick skull that God is bigger than your dreams and your reality. So seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. That includes understanding, and sense of reality around you. Too often, I find myself limited by my comfort zone, or at least only allowing direction from God to send me into the norms of life. But why should I let my own mind limit what God can and cant do when I know my own mind doesn't even know what I can and cant do. Even if you had some trouble with the talk on the supernatural, surely you can agree that you do not even know your own abilities. If you don't even know yourself, then why on earth should we ever think that we know God.
So, dream big, follow God, and stop constraining the guidance of the Holy Spirit to your own logic and understanding. If you want to really work for something, work for a relationship with God where you can be sensitive to the guidance of the spirit and trust it as you trust your relationship with God. Then, maybe he will call a few more of us out onto the waters
Sunday, February 04, 2007
journey to Virginia
This weekend my life took an exciting detour... all the way to Virginia. I drove a few of my friends from GCC to Virginia to do some skiing. It was about a 6 hour drive, so we left Friday afternoon, spent the night, skied the next day, then drove back today (Sunday). On the way back, we took the "scenic route"- so, our drive was about 8 hours (including several cool stops). All in all, it was awesome. The people I went with were really cool, and I am looking forward to forging better friendships with them. We stayed with the ski-patrol at the mountain, and they were all really nice.... So, I said all that to say this. Here is what I learned from my road-trip:
1) My body was made to work. I cannot sleep properly, and still have a functional, enjoyable day unless I work my butt off during the day. It is just the way it is.
2) Roadtrips with friends are amazing. Not only are they exciting, but they teach you so much about a person. It is incredible what 8 hours in a car with someone will teach you. ( All in all, I found out my friends from GCC were pretty great, just btw )
3) The best sanctuary made for the worship is nature. Roadtrips allow you to put life in such perspective. You get to see how big the world is, and how ordered God has your life.
4) People love to laugh, and love to tell stories. It is pretty much what gets us through the days. I am not sure why this is, but it makes sense why the bible is in story format. As for the laughter, it just makes me happy. Though, I do need to work on how I make people laugh.
5) I very commonly make-fun of people for a laugh. It is in total sarcasm, so I am not actually mean, but I think I need to stop that. It just isnt worth it to slowly chop people down, even if they act like everything is fine.
6) People love when you notice the little things about them. Sure, anybody can make a comment about the generalities of your personality and such... but the little things really seem to matter.
7) Life is not about on-upping everyone. Too often we fall into the cycle of trying to prove to each other that we are equal or superior to each other. I am not sure why this is, but we all do it. Even if it is just as simple as telling a "similar story" about how we "went through the same thing". This is something I really need to work on. I need to learn to listen more and just "chil-lax" as Karen puts it.
8) "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'...for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - The Bible
9) I need to stop thinking about dating. My mind wonders far too often to girls and the possibility for "something more". If I learned anything this trip, it was how to have good friends... that are girls. (Thank God for maturity)
10) God has made us in His image, and has instilled in us a certain personality to exercise the Kingdom of God in our own lives. It is good to sharpen your own skills... I believe we all have areas of our own self that need improvement... but in all reality- our pursuit should not be an external, ideal personality- for that would make us all the same. Rather, we should strive to be a better version of ourself. I think that I have been cutting my own legs out from under me, trying to be a "better person"- when in truth, there are parts of my personality that could be used very much for the "good" if only channeled the right way.
11) I need to learn how to relax more, and appreciate every moment of life.
12) I know I am going against #9 here... but I think I am going to one day marry a girl from the north-east.... not any time soon, don't worry, but still... ha.
13) lastly, I love the white powdered, chocolate cream filled donuts.
Okay, I need sleep. I haven't slept well this whole week.
-Z
1) My body was made to work. I cannot sleep properly, and still have a functional, enjoyable day unless I work my butt off during the day. It is just the way it is.
2) Roadtrips with friends are amazing. Not only are they exciting, but they teach you so much about a person. It is incredible what 8 hours in a car with someone will teach you. ( All in all, I found out my friends from GCC were pretty great, just btw )
3) The best sanctuary made for the worship is nature. Roadtrips allow you to put life in such perspective. You get to see how big the world is, and how ordered God has your life.
4) People love to laugh, and love to tell stories. It is pretty much what gets us through the days. I am not sure why this is, but it makes sense why the bible is in story format. As for the laughter, it just makes me happy. Though, I do need to work on how I make people laugh.
5) I very commonly make-fun of people for a laugh. It is in total sarcasm, so I am not actually mean, but I think I need to stop that. It just isnt worth it to slowly chop people down, even if they act like everything is fine.
6) People love when you notice the little things about them. Sure, anybody can make a comment about the generalities of your personality and such... but the little things really seem to matter.
7) Life is not about on-upping everyone. Too often we fall into the cycle of trying to prove to each other that we are equal or superior to each other. I am not sure why this is, but we all do it. Even if it is just as simple as telling a "similar story" about how we "went through the same thing". This is something I really need to work on. I need to learn to listen more and just "chil-lax" as Karen puts it.
8) "Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'...for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." - The Bible
9) I need to stop thinking about dating. My mind wonders far too often to girls and the possibility for "something more". If I learned anything this trip, it was how to have good friends... that are girls. (Thank God for maturity)
10) God has made us in His image, and has instilled in us a certain personality to exercise the Kingdom of God in our own lives. It is good to sharpen your own skills... I believe we all have areas of our own self that need improvement... but in all reality- our pursuit should not be an external, ideal personality- for that would make us all the same. Rather, we should strive to be a better version of ourself. I think that I have been cutting my own legs out from under me, trying to be a "better person"- when in truth, there are parts of my personality that could be used very much for the "good" if only channeled the right way.
11) I need to learn how to relax more, and appreciate every moment of life.
12) I know I am going against #9 here... but I think I am going to one day marry a girl from the north-east.... not any time soon, don't worry, but still... ha.
13) lastly, I love the white powdered, chocolate cream filled donuts.
Okay, I need sleep. I haven't slept well this whole week.
-Z
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Best Writing Ever
Let me preface the following quote by saying first that I do feel some caution in providing a higlighted version of the quote, but it is only because I want you all to read it all the way through... and I acknowledge that many of you would stop if I posted the whole thing. Secondly, might I just say that this is probably one of the best statements ever made in the history of mankind. Please, take a minute to recall any history of the United States you might remember, and thing of the gravity of what these people were doing. The history of this statement alone should suffice for it being such a great work, but beyond even that, I hope that you do see the inherent eliquence and beauty in every sentence. Okay, enough of my words, here it is:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.....But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.....But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security."
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Humanities
By definition, a course in Humanities is the process by which we become more humane. Here at Grove City College, we are required to take 6 classes in the Humanities... apparently to the great objection of the majority of students. I am not sure if students object to the Humanities because they are required or if it is because people dont actually care what the class has to offer... but non-the-less, I love the class. Here is why:
On the second day of class our professor made the announcement that his class would in no way help us make more money in life. The soul purpose of this class is to culture us and to give us the oppertunity to be better humans. Sure, it might seem like a waist of time to most, but quite frankly- that is part of the reason I am here: to become a better person. I think most people would agree that for the most part, what you learn in college (academically) is not directly utilized in your profession. Instead, most of the knowledge is learned by "on the job training". What does matter in college, however, is the person you become in those 4 or so years. Quite frankly, it is the primary reason I am in college. With my knowledge of computers, I could have easily entered the job-market doing computer repair, or web-site design... but as I have posted earlier, I knew I need to advance as a better person first. And that is what humanities is all about- culturing us, and broadening our perspective so that we go into the world with our eyes wide open, but also secure in our faith (not out of ignorance, but because it is what we know is true).
There is a saying here at GCC that goes something like: "Grove City College, where your best hasn't been good enough since 1876." In these last two weeks, I have come to understand what people mean by that. There is a crazy amount of work to do here. Granted, it might be because of my major being one that requires alot of reading, but still... it is very hard here. Since I have been here, I have quite literally read over 4 hours a day and I am still behind. But the irony in all of this is that the professors really arent asking more of me than is possible. There have been moments when I have goofed around, did nothing but look at facebook... and those moments have cost me time. Now, dont get me wrong, I do have a social life here- I was just refrencing the "idle time" that I somehow stumble upon throughout the day.
In many ways, the work required of me here at Grove is similar to the work God has for all of our lives. They have given me more than my current self can do alone, but still, deep inside of me- I know that it is possible to finish everything, and to do it well. In life, I believe God works the same way. It seems to me that when God moves, he often thrusts us into situations where our current self is inadequate, and only by the leading of the Spirit of God, as it educates and guides us, can we finish the task at hand.
So as for me, I love the crazy amount of work. It is a healthy challenge. How else would I improve as a person. If I am tested to my current ability, then why would I have to rise up/ improve as a person. This saying goes for about any sport out there. When you are training or playing a sport, your skill will often reflect the quality of players around you. Now, there are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, we all need some iron to sharpen ourselves againts from time to time. For me, this is the place to be sharpened.
One of my favorite sayings from highschool was: "The victor is defined by the size of his opponent."... and really, that is so true in life. Had David not defeated a goliath, there would be no great story to tell. But in every instance, God called David to rise above his previous abilities to reflect the glory of God.
So, word of the day- If you want to know what the calling of God is on your life, look for something you can't do on your own, because only then can the glory of God be shown.
-Z
On the second day of class our professor made the announcement that his class would in no way help us make more money in life. The soul purpose of this class is to culture us and to give us the oppertunity to be better humans. Sure, it might seem like a waist of time to most, but quite frankly- that is part of the reason I am here: to become a better person. I think most people would agree that for the most part, what you learn in college (academically) is not directly utilized in your profession. Instead, most of the knowledge is learned by "on the job training". What does matter in college, however, is the person you become in those 4 or so years. Quite frankly, it is the primary reason I am in college. With my knowledge of computers, I could have easily entered the job-market doing computer repair, or web-site design... but as I have posted earlier, I knew I need to advance as a better person first. And that is what humanities is all about- culturing us, and broadening our perspective so that we go into the world with our eyes wide open, but also secure in our faith (not out of ignorance, but because it is what we know is true).
There is a saying here at GCC that goes something like: "Grove City College, where your best hasn't been good enough since 1876." In these last two weeks, I have come to understand what people mean by that. There is a crazy amount of work to do here. Granted, it might be because of my major being one that requires alot of reading, but still... it is very hard here. Since I have been here, I have quite literally read over 4 hours a day and I am still behind. But the irony in all of this is that the professors really arent asking more of me than is possible. There have been moments when I have goofed around, did nothing but look at facebook... and those moments have cost me time. Now, dont get me wrong, I do have a social life here- I was just refrencing the "idle time" that I somehow stumble upon throughout the day.
In many ways, the work required of me here at Grove is similar to the work God has for all of our lives. They have given me more than my current self can do alone, but still, deep inside of me- I know that it is possible to finish everything, and to do it well. In life, I believe God works the same way. It seems to me that when God moves, he often thrusts us into situations where our current self is inadequate, and only by the leading of the Spirit of God, as it educates and guides us, can we finish the task at hand.
So as for me, I love the crazy amount of work. It is a healthy challenge. How else would I improve as a person. If I am tested to my current ability, then why would I have to rise up/ improve as a person. This saying goes for about any sport out there. When you are training or playing a sport, your skill will often reflect the quality of players around you. Now, there are exceptions to this rule, but for the most part, we all need some iron to sharpen ourselves againts from time to time. For me, this is the place to be sharpened.
One of my favorite sayings from highschool was: "The victor is defined by the size of his opponent."... and really, that is so true in life. Had David not defeated a goliath, there would be no great story to tell. But in every instance, God called David to rise above his previous abilities to reflect the glory of God.
So, word of the day- If you want to know what the calling of God is on your life, look for something you can't do on your own, because only then can the glory of God be shown.
-Z
Monday, January 29, 2007
Challenge
1 Cor 9: "Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified"
Most of the people in my life tell me that I am way too hard on myself. Understandably, I can see what they are talking about, but I still hold to my desire to better myself. It would take way too much time to discribe all of the specifics, so for this posts I will have to stick to the vaguities. I believe it is important for people to do two things. First, they must decided on what type of person they were meant to be, or construct some general image of their own personality that is better than their current position, that they personally feel would allow the will of God to flow through their lives the easiest. Secondly, I think they must then take the appropriate steps to pull their-self up to that position in life.
I am not trying to create an endless cycle of betterment here, but I do think there is something to be said about really going after the dreams you believe should be a reality in your own life. This doesnt just apply to your personality/ way of looking at the world, it can apply to all of your life, but for the purpose of this post, I am going to directly apply it to who you are as a person.
A few years ago I decided that deep beneath the crap in my life existed a genuinly good person who wanted to help the people around him. However, between that good person and the rest of the world was a lot of crap/pain/etc. that would first have to be moved/ purged... and so I have been pushing myself constantly since then. I have restrained from getting into another relationship (though my heart desires it), I have moved out of my comfort zone in Tulsa (though my security desired it), and I am writing on this random blog. (even though I believe my words wont help anyone else out there).
There are several "easy ways out" in my life... Back in Tulsa, I had a guarunteed success, and a good life that would have been just swell... but at some point I started to believe that there was something more out there for me. So, I have been pushing and pushing my mind, body, and spirit "so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified"
I have a lot of struggles in my life. Specifically, I have a strong longing in my heart, my mind, and my body to be in a relationship. I miss the companionship and the intimacy (dont take that word the wrong way... I'm refrencing closeness, not physical intimacy). But, at some point I came to the decision that having a girl in my life was inhibiting my relationship with God... at the time, I was getting my security and my comfort from the relationship instead of from God. Now, I understand the idea of a complimentary role of the relationship instead of always relying on it.... and so I am here. For the most part, I am forcing myself to stay single until the "right girl" (whatever that means) comes along. Sure... that seams whimsical, but I am done just having a girlfriend to have a girlfriend. I dont have a strong enough desire to "just have someone in my life"... for it to be worth all the emotional trauma if they arent the right one. Im not saying it will be love at first sight, and I might date a few girls between her and now... but I think it is time to take relationships a lot more seriously. I no longer believe I should date someone who I do not think I would marry. Humerously enough, I once believe this... back in Sophomore year of highschool... but somewhere in there I decided to date people I knew I would never marry.. but alas, here I am again. I think that I need to find girl friends, so that I can learn to "just be friends". And in the event of me actually thinking a future is possible with someone... then and only then will I begin the whole dating thing.
You know, I once wanted to be a writer... but Im not sure now- I have a crazy hard time communicating things. Granted, I am writing these posts in a hurry.. but still, you would think I would be better at this, lol.
Most of the people in my life tell me that I am way too hard on myself. Understandably, I can see what they are talking about, but I still hold to my desire to better myself. It would take way too much time to discribe all of the specifics, so for this posts I will have to stick to the vaguities. I believe it is important for people to do two things. First, they must decided on what type of person they were meant to be, or construct some general image of their own personality that is better than their current position, that they personally feel would allow the will of God to flow through their lives the easiest. Secondly, I think they must then take the appropriate steps to pull their-self up to that position in life.
I am not trying to create an endless cycle of betterment here, but I do think there is something to be said about really going after the dreams you believe should be a reality in your own life. This doesnt just apply to your personality/ way of looking at the world, it can apply to all of your life, but for the purpose of this post, I am going to directly apply it to who you are as a person.
A few years ago I decided that deep beneath the crap in my life existed a genuinly good person who wanted to help the people around him. However, between that good person and the rest of the world was a lot of crap/pain/etc. that would first have to be moved/ purged... and so I have been pushing myself constantly since then. I have restrained from getting into another relationship (though my heart desires it), I have moved out of my comfort zone in Tulsa (though my security desired it), and I am writing on this random blog. (even though I believe my words wont help anyone else out there).
There are several "easy ways out" in my life... Back in Tulsa, I had a guarunteed success, and a good life that would have been just swell... but at some point I started to believe that there was something more out there for me. So, I have been pushing and pushing my mind, body, and spirit "so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified"
I have a lot of struggles in my life. Specifically, I have a strong longing in my heart, my mind, and my body to be in a relationship. I miss the companionship and the intimacy (dont take that word the wrong way... I'm refrencing closeness, not physical intimacy). But, at some point I came to the decision that having a girl in my life was inhibiting my relationship with God... at the time, I was getting my security and my comfort from the relationship instead of from God. Now, I understand the idea of a complimentary role of the relationship instead of always relying on it.... and so I am here. For the most part, I am forcing myself to stay single until the "right girl" (whatever that means) comes along. Sure... that seams whimsical, but I am done just having a girlfriend to have a girlfriend. I dont have a strong enough desire to "just have someone in my life"... for it to be worth all the emotional trauma if they arent the right one. Im not saying it will be love at first sight, and I might date a few girls between her and now... but I think it is time to take relationships a lot more seriously. I no longer believe I should date someone who I do not think I would marry. Humerously enough, I once believe this... back in Sophomore year of highschool... but somewhere in there I decided to date people I knew I would never marry.. but alas, here I am again. I think that I need to find girl friends, so that I can learn to "just be friends". And in the event of me actually thinking a future is possible with someone... then and only then will I begin the whole dating thing.
You know, I once wanted to be a writer... but Im not sure now- I have a crazy hard time communicating things. Granted, I am writing these posts in a hurry.. but still, you would think I would be better at this, lol.
Friday, January 26, 2007
A (hopefully) Short Addendum
Okay, so here are the two major topics (briefly discribed) that are rocking my mind right now....
First, I have been fighting the concept of giving God controll of my life for a long time now. Sometime in the summer, I decided that I needed to give God absolute controll of my life, and since then I have been on the journey to do just that. First, it was the little things... computers, games, all the misc. things that took up my free time. I decided that several things were wasting my time and keeping me from pursuing God. The next step was not so easy. Admits a relationship that was getting all sorts of complicated, I realized that females just weren't something I should be partaking of right now. I think I went around 4 years without being out of a relationship of some sort for over a two weeks. I had essentially zero down time. That created in me a dependance on having a girl in my life. They became my comfort, my refuge, and my security- all things that God was suppose to be. So, that was terminated. Then, it came time to give God controll of my future. I was an engineer for a while, with a guarunteed future... but I gave that up in search of God. However, then I declared another major (History and PoliSci) that still had hopes of getting me a job. Once again, I felt secure in life.. but it wasnt through God. In addition to that, Tulsa was comfortable for me. I knew I was safe there, and I knew I could "make it" if I stayed there. That kept me from God. And so I am here... for a challenge, and so I can find all those things in God and not from things in life. (okay, as you can tell, this is going to be a long addendum, sorry :-) ) So, now I am at Pennsylvania wondering what the heck is going on. I keep trying to get girls out of my mind. I do not want to be dependent on a relationship. I want it to be a beautiful addition to my life that exists with in company with the peace of God... and quite simply- I am SICK AND TIRED of all the confusion that girls bring to my life. I think life should be way more simple than it has been in the history of my relations with the opposite sex. Anywho, this leads me to my next point.
Today, I got to the point where I was like "Why am I here?". I believe God can give me what I need when I need it. I believe you dont have to know the whole bible for the spirit of God to flow through you. I do not believe the path to success in my life is attaniable my my own study, outside of God. I do not want "studying God" to become an intellectual thing to me. I very much want to keep the deep, intimate, spiritual relationship I have with my heavenly father. Also, I do not want any more reasons to doubt the capacity of God. I refuse to try and quanitfy God... or ever feel like I "know" what he can and cant do.... Which leads me to Jesus.
For so long I have been talking to God trying to figure out what I was suppose to "do".. who I was suppose to date, what I was suppose to study, where I was suppose to go. It is very easy for me to lecture others about how we have the gift of choice, so we should use it based on our spirit, and do not neccesarily need an audible voice to tell us everything. I know that God moves beyond words, and can touch us through our spirit... but why was I not allowing the same thing to happen in my life....
Then I was reminded by the spirit what I was doing. I was seeking/ talking to God- and not speaking to Jesus. I have not ever really done that. I have always directly addressed God, and avoided Jesus. But I dont think we are suppose to do that. Jesus said He was to be the intersessor for us and the father... so why wasn't I just obeying him? Because I was stupid, that was why. Then the comparison hit me. I was trying to follow a very old covenent way of doing things. I was looking for works to find God... when Jesus is very much a different way.
When I was having this very angry and confused conversation with God... I was pacing my room, seemingly arguing with myself and God. Then I was reminded of the way Jesus worked. He told me to lay down... and that was how I was suppose to feel with Him. As I lay there on my comforter, stretched out across my bed, I felt the embrace of warmth and comfort. I felt Jesus tell me, "you worry too much"... "I will take care of you".... then all the sermons about "just as he takes care of the flowers of the field and sparrow, so will he take care of you" as well as the many speaches I have given others about how it is God who does the heavy lifting, not us. It was then that I was forced to admitt my own ignorance, and submitt to God.... through the love and comfort that Jesus brings. What I was doing was not the new covenent... it was very old covenent. I was seeking works, when all Jesus wants for us to do is to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to follow the desires of our heart, to have a relationship with Him. We do not have to have everything in controll, we do not have to understand everything. We are just suppose to obey. I think that is what it comes down to. Obedience. I did not trust God enough to obey. I need to work on that.
So then I asked, "Why am I here, studying the word?"... and the answer I felt was that my studies was to teach me to seek God, to focus on Him and not myself, and most importantly, to have the scripture deep in me, so if I stumble again, I will have the word to push me forward.
I believe there are many parts to God, and that each one serves a purpose. I am not sure why I am here, but I know God has things in controll. I want a girl to laugh with and to love, but if now isnt the time, then so be it. For now, I will consume my mind and heart with the pursuit of God and try for once to let God be in controll.... We'll see how this goes. ;-) In all reality, I have like 3-4 hours of reading on "Jesus stuff" to do every day, so that should help. But, you know how my self controll is... haha.
-May your days be better than mine, and may you find God in every movement of your life.
First, I have been fighting the concept of giving God controll of my life for a long time now. Sometime in the summer, I decided that I needed to give God absolute controll of my life, and since then I have been on the journey to do just that. First, it was the little things... computers, games, all the misc. things that took up my free time. I decided that several things were wasting my time and keeping me from pursuing God. The next step was not so easy. Admits a relationship that was getting all sorts of complicated, I realized that females just weren't something I should be partaking of right now. I think I went around 4 years without being out of a relationship of some sort for over a two weeks. I had essentially zero down time. That created in me a dependance on having a girl in my life. They became my comfort, my refuge, and my security- all things that God was suppose to be. So, that was terminated. Then, it came time to give God controll of my future. I was an engineer for a while, with a guarunteed future... but I gave that up in search of God. However, then I declared another major (History and PoliSci) that still had hopes of getting me a job. Once again, I felt secure in life.. but it wasnt through God. In addition to that, Tulsa was comfortable for me. I knew I was safe there, and I knew I could "make it" if I stayed there. That kept me from God. And so I am here... for a challenge, and so I can find all those things in God and not from things in life. (okay, as you can tell, this is going to be a long addendum, sorry :-) ) So, now I am at Pennsylvania wondering what the heck is going on. I keep trying to get girls out of my mind. I do not want to be dependent on a relationship. I want it to be a beautiful addition to my life that exists with in company with the peace of God... and quite simply- I am SICK AND TIRED of all the confusion that girls bring to my life. I think life should be way more simple than it has been in the history of my relations with the opposite sex. Anywho, this leads me to my next point.
Today, I got to the point where I was like "Why am I here?". I believe God can give me what I need when I need it. I believe you dont have to know the whole bible for the spirit of God to flow through you. I do not believe the path to success in my life is attaniable my my own study, outside of God. I do not want "studying God" to become an intellectual thing to me. I very much want to keep the deep, intimate, spiritual relationship I have with my heavenly father. Also, I do not want any more reasons to doubt the capacity of God. I refuse to try and quanitfy God... or ever feel like I "know" what he can and cant do.... Which leads me to Jesus.
For so long I have been talking to God trying to figure out what I was suppose to "do".. who I was suppose to date, what I was suppose to study, where I was suppose to go. It is very easy for me to lecture others about how we have the gift of choice, so we should use it based on our spirit, and do not neccesarily need an audible voice to tell us everything. I know that God moves beyond words, and can touch us through our spirit... but why was I not allowing the same thing to happen in my life....
Then I was reminded by the spirit what I was doing. I was seeking/ talking to God- and not speaking to Jesus. I have not ever really done that. I have always directly addressed God, and avoided Jesus. But I dont think we are suppose to do that. Jesus said He was to be the intersessor for us and the father... so why wasn't I just obeying him? Because I was stupid, that was why. Then the comparison hit me. I was trying to follow a very old covenent way of doing things. I was looking for works to find God... when Jesus is very much a different way.
When I was having this very angry and confused conversation with God... I was pacing my room, seemingly arguing with myself and God. Then I was reminded of the way Jesus worked. He told me to lay down... and that was how I was suppose to feel with Him. As I lay there on my comforter, stretched out across my bed, I felt the embrace of warmth and comfort. I felt Jesus tell me, "you worry too much"... "I will take care of you".... then all the sermons about "just as he takes care of the flowers of the field and sparrow, so will he take care of you" as well as the many speaches I have given others about how it is God who does the heavy lifting, not us. It was then that I was forced to admitt my own ignorance, and submitt to God.... through the love and comfort that Jesus brings. What I was doing was not the new covenent... it was very old covenent. I was seeking works, when all Jesus wants for us to do is to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to follow the desires of our heart, to have a relationship with Him. We do not have to have everything in controll, we do not have to understand everything. We are just suppose to obey. I think that is what it comes down to. Obedience. I did not trust God enough to obey. I need to work on that.
So then I asked, "Why am I here, studying the word?"... and the answer I felt was that my studies was to teach me to seek God, to focus on Him and not myself, and most importantly, to have the scripture deep in me, so if I stumble again, I will have the word to push me forward.
I believe there are many parts to God, and that each one serves a purpose. I am not sure why I am here, but I know God has things in controll. I want a girl to laugh with and to love, but if now isnt the time, then so be it. For now, I will consume my mind and heart with the pursuit of God and try for once to let God be in controll.... We'll see how this goes. ;-) In all reality, I have like 3-4 hours of reading on "Jesus stuff" to do every day, so that should help. But, you know how my self controll is... haha.
-May your days be better than mine, and may you find God in every movement of your life.
Relativism
I guess I should have expected it, but no matter where you go, it seems, everyone always thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fense. I am not sure why this is. I guess perhaps that for the most part most people are trapped by their own perspective and can only see the bad in their own situation, and only the good in other places. It is funny how life works this way. I am here at Grove City College, which seems so far to be even better than I hoped it would be. Granted, it has its shortcomings, but in the areas I wanted something great- it has even surpassed my own expectations. I would like to think that this is not a distorted image of Grove City, because my perseption should not be twisted. However, it seems that many people I talk to who have attended GCC for a few years dream of a "better place"... which they think might be ORU or another Christian school. Granted, these are very charismatic students at a presbyterian- so I can see how ORU would look like the promise land to them.... but to me, this place is incredible. Nothing againts ORU, it just wasnt the place for me.
In life, I believe we all have to make the decisions as to where the best place for us to be is. For me, it was following a desire in my heart to study God, to be around intelligent people, and to get out of Tulsa. That is what I wanted, and that is why I am here. For me, GCC does all of that and more. I am not trying to sugar coat it, there are some negatives- it is hard to uproot your life in the middle of college. It is hard to leave behind your friends and the ones you love in hopes of a better experience, in hopes that an education elsewhere will make a worthwhile difference in your life- but alas, it is just something I had to do. I do not think leaving your comfort zone is for everyone, but for me I knew it was the right thing to do. Yes, it did start my meter over, but I needed the challenge. I am not trying to make a relative argument here, but I think a persons choice for college/ higher-education is a relative decision. No matter what Princeton Review might say, no matter what opinions your friends or parents may have- You have to make your own decision, independent of everything... and make sure that is a decision based on solid reasons that arent just emotional.
I thank God for my opertunity to seek Him here at GCC. I am not sure where this road will lead me, but it is a path I feel I must take. There is more to my story called life, but that will have to be for a later post.
-Z
In life, I believe we all have to make the decisions as to where the best place for us to be is. For me, it was following a desire in my heart to study God, to be around intelligent people, and to get out of Tulsa. That is what I wanted, and that is why I am here. For me, GCC does all of that and more. I am not trying to sugar coat it, there are some negatives- it is hard to uproot your life in the middle of college. It is hard to leave behind your friends and the ones you love in hopes of a better experience, in hopes that an education elsewhere will make a worthwhile difference in your life- but alas, it is just something I had to do. I do not think leaving your comfort zone is for everyone, but for me I knew it was the right thing to do. Yes, it did start my meter over, but I needed the challenge. I am not trying to make a relative argument here, but I think a persons choice for college/ higher-education is a relative decision. No matter what Princeton Review might say, no matter what opinions your friends or parents may have- You have to make your own decision, independent of everything... and make sure that is a decision based on solid reasons that arent just emotional.
I thank God for my opertunity to seek Him here at GCC. I am not sure where this road will lead me, but it is a path I feel I must take. There is more to my story called life, but that will have to be for a later post.
-Z
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Grove City, Take One.
After 17 hours of driving, I have finally arrived. It has been two days since I first arrived, and everything has been better than I even expected. I am not sure what I thought I was getting myself into by comming here, but things seem to be even better than I had hoped. It feels so good to have the oppertuntiy to commit myself to the things that make me feel so alive and purposeful. Both academically and socially I have been given that oppertunity here. I am taking classes on The New Testament, Paul, the Book of Hebrews. That alone will be wonderful to finally study. Humerously enough, I have already been given the required reading of the New Testament... how funny is that. This is exactly what I needed, not only a commitment/reason/accountability to get into the word of God, but also to have individuals to examine it with. My Civilization professor wrote in his syllabus- "One mark of a civilized individual is participating in civilizing activites. In a very real sense, a scholar locked away in an ivory tower can be just as barbaric as the uneducated if the scholar refuses to actively support civic life." Even in the depths of their learning and theological studies, the professors too realize the importance of being a part of the community, not to just "help the community", but to become emmersed in its culture, and converse with its people, as they will shape you into a person of character. I just found that exciting.
My three bible classes (NT, Paul, and Hebrews) are all taught by the same professor, humerously enough in the same room. He got his doctrate in divinity from Princeton and has been teaching for the last 30 years at GCC. Aside from being a very funny and well-educated man, he also has shared with me a wonderful part of his character. At the end of his speach on the "purpose of his class", he would always add (in every class), a mini-speach similar to this: "Though it is perhaps useful to benchmark your intellectual,
That is what GCC has shown me here. I have been given the oppertunity to emmerse myself in the word and spirit of God. But beyond that, I have also been given two wonderful roomates, and a community of friends that will make this experience worth all the crap I went through to get here. Seriously, I could not have even dreamed of an oppertunity this great. Every day, I wake up excited about the day, and each day feels like 5, and yet I still dont have enough time to do everything I want to do. This will be a good semester.
That all being said, I have some final words about the future of this blog. Because there will be so much input both in conversation with other people, and my own personal studies, I am going to need an outlet. In years past I have used this oppertunity of a "blog" not only as an outlet, but also as an attempt to communicate absolute truth to other people. However, as of late, I have come to realize that as I learn and mature, my opinions to change slightly, however, I still like the outlet. So, that will be the future purpose of my blog- an outlet and transcriptions of my studies, conversations, and conclusions. If nothing else, so I can go back and see what I was studying, talking, and thinking about over the semester. Hopefully, to the three of you that read this, it will benefit you in some way, if nothing else, just get your brain and spirit spinning. I will try and avoid pointless arguments on here, because those just annoy me. Okay, here we go. :-)
Admits many conversation in the last 15 hours, something interesting has come up. Many people here, myself included are going through cycles and stages of "perfecting" their self before God. The thought itself makes perfect sense. It is not that we want or think we can be perfect, but we do want to tune ourselves and our relationships in such a way that God can flow through us day to day. We do not want to let the ominous "sin" obstructs us from the workings of God. But here is my thought. In the bible- God never seems to use those who were "perfect" or close to it (excluding Jesus, lol). David had his struggles with the flesh, as did Moses and Abraham. In the NT, Jesus did not call anyone from the church to be a disciple. He chose fisherman, tax-collectors... and usually normal/ dirty people. It seems to me that God is not looking for a pure body, but rather for a willing heart. I was talking to someone tonight about this, and he was wondering if he should go to seminary to be a pastor or to work in the church. I told him that if he felt so inclined, to do so. However, do no think that a lack of such study with limit the workings of God. The bigest movements of God we have recorded, was not through the educated and elite, but simply through those who had a heart for God and a heart for the people. David defeated Goliath not because he was so well skilled, but because he had the faith and audactiy to stand-up for God. Joseph was no great person, but he belived in his God above all else. Solomon was not given his kingdom because of the "blessings of God", but because he asked for the wisdom to rule the people correctly. He had a realtionships with God, and a desire to better the world around him. For anyone out there who is wanting a movement of God, please do not think you have to perfect yourself first. I am in strong agreeance that the movement of God in your life will be much more restricted by your faith being conditional on your own purifying actions than by the actual purification itself. Dont get me wrong, we should pursue God and a "pure" lifestyle. But it is not the fufillment of being sinless that moves the spirit of God. It is the faith in God that will allow the spirit to move. For what it is worth, just know, that God is not asking you to figure everything out, or to be totally prepared- in fact, I believe that God calls us to situations we cannont comprehend, nor solve on our own, because only then by faith and by the movement of God can things work out. I do not know what the will of God is for my life or yours, but I guaruntee it is beyond your own comprehension and my own. I also pray it is beyond your own capacity to complete/fufill- because only then can our purpose be fufilled, only then can we give Glory to God as He does the heavy lifting for us.
I am sorry if this doesnt make sense, or if you read all this and got nothing from it. Like I said, it is just an outlet. Have a wonderful day and thank you for your time.
-Zac
My three bible classes (NT, Paul, and Hebrews) are all taught by the same professor, humerously enough in the same room. He got his doctrate in divinity from Princeton and has been teaching for the last 30 years at GCC. Aside from being a very funny and well-educated man, he also has shared with me a wonderful part of his character. At the end of his speach on the "purpose of his class", he would always add (in every class), a mini-speach similar to this: "Though it is perhaps useful to benchmark your intellectual,
That is what GCC has shown me here. I have been given the oppertunity to emmerse myself in the word and spirit of God. But beyond that, I have also been given two wonderful roomates, and a community of friends that will make this experience worth all the crap I went through to get here. Seriously, I could not have even dreamed of an oppertunity this great. Every day, I wake up excited about the day, and each day feels like 5, and yet I still dont have enough time to do everything I want to do. This will be a good semester.
That all being said, I have some final words about the future of this blog. Because there will be so much input both in conversation with other people, and my own personal studies, I am going to need an outlet. In years past I have used this oppertunity of a "blog" not only as an outlet, but also as an attempt to communicate absolute truth to other people. However, as of late, I have come to realize that as I learn and mature, my opinions to change slightly, however, I still like the outlet. So, that will be the future purpose of my blog- an outlet and transcriptions of my studies, conversations, and conclusions. If nothing else, so I can go back and see what I was studying, talking, and thinking about over the semester. Hopefully, to the three of you that read this, it will benefit you in some way, if nothing else, just get your brain and spirit spinning. I will try and avoid pointless arguments on here, because those just annoy me. Okay, here we go. :-)
Admits many conversation in the last 15 hours, something interesting has come up. Many people here, myself included are going through cycles and stages of "perfecting" their self before God. The thought itself makes perfect sense. It is not that we want or think we can be perfect, but we do want to tune ourselves and our relationships in such a way that God can flow through us day to day. We do not want to let the ominous "sin" obstructs us from the workings of God. But here is my thought. In the bible- God never seems to use those who were "perfect" or close to it (excluding Jesus, lol). David had his struggles with the flesh, as did Moses and Abraham. In the NT, Jesus did not call anyone from the church to be a disciple. He chose fisherman, tax-collectors... and usually normal/ dirty people. It seems to me that God is not looking for a pure body, but rather for a willing heart. I was talking to someone tonight about this, and he was wondering if he should go to seminary to be a pastor or to work in the church. I told him that if he felt so inclined, to do so. However, do no think that a lack of such study with limit the workings of God. The bigest movements of God we have recorded, was not through the educated and elite, but simply through those who had a heart for God and a heart for the people. David defeated Goliath not because he was so well skilled, but because he had the faith and audactiy to stand-up for God. Joseph was no great person, but he belived in his God above all else. Solomon was not given his kingdom because of the "blessings of God", but because he asked for the wisdom to rule the people correctly. He had a realtionships with God, and a desire to better the world around him. For anyone out there who is wanting a movement of God, please do not think you have to perfect yourself first. I am in strong agreeance that the movement of God in your life will be much more restricted by your faith being conditional on your own purifying actions than by the actual purification itself. Dont get me wrong, we should pursue God and a "pure" lifestyle. But it is not the fufillment of being sinless that moves the spirit of God. It is the faith in God that will allow the spirit to move. For what it is worth, just know, that God is not asking you to figure everything out, or to be totally prepared- in fact, I believe that God calls us to situations we cannont comprehend, nor solve on our own, because only then by faith and by the movement of God can things work out. I do not know what the will of God is for my life or yours, but I guaruntee it is beyond your own comprehension and my own. I also pray it is beyond your own capacity to complete/fufill- because only then can our purpose be fufilled, only then can we give Glory to God as He does the heavy lifting for us.
I am sorry if this doesnt make sense, or if you read all this and got nothing from it. Like I said, it is just an outlet. Have a wonderful day and thank you for your time.
-Zac
Friday, January 19, 2007
add one to the tally
This is an ammendment to the previous entry.... My uncle (by marriage)'s father died today. What is going on? Seriously, this is all too weird.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
new life
A lot has been happening in my life recently, but every time I go to write, I stop, because it comes out horribly. The short version is: I dropped out of college circa Dec 10 after finishing the fall semester. Dec 15 I had an interview at a college in Grove City Pennsylvania, and essentially gave them my application the same day. Through the grace of God, they accepted me. It is a small liberal-arts school that is a Christian school by nature. It is ranked higher academically than TU was, and yet it is more theolocially liberal than Wheaton or Oral Roberts. I will be studying Christian Thought there. Here is their discription of the major: "Christian Thought
This major explores issues in Biblical, theological, and historical studies, both in order to be grounded in the texts, issues, and concerns of the Christian Church throughout the centuries, and in order to deal competently with the questions posed both by Christians and non-Christians about the Christian faith in this new century. For those students who wish to attend seminary after college, the Christian Thought program will prepare them well. No matter what their major, Pre-Theological students are advised to include a number of liberal arts courses in their work, including English, history, philosophy, religion, psychology, sociology, political science, Greek, and a modern foreign language."
I will be driving to Grove City this Friday, it is around a 16 hour drive, and I will be following the ice storm, with my life packed in the back of my Tahoe. Wish me luck, lol.
And because I dont feel like writing on anything actually going on in my life other than the facts, the defacto topic will be my simple amusement at the topic of death. It is just starting to get funny. First Bethany, then Josh, then my Father's close friend dies, then my dog of 14 years was put down the other day, and finally another good friend of the family died today. That puts the count at 4 humans and 1 dog. Or rather, about one every 2 weeks. At this point, I just laugh when I hear about another death. I wonder if that is a bad thing?
This major explores issues in Biblical, theological, and historical studies, both in order to be grounded in the texts, issues, and concerns of the Christian Church throughout the centuries, and in order to deal competently with the questions posed both by Christians and non-Christians about the Christian faith in this new century. For those students who wish to attend seminary after college, the Christian Thought program will prepare them well. No matter what their major, Pre-Theological students are advised to include a number of liberal arts courses in their work, including English, history, philosophy, religion, psychology, sociology, political science, Greek, and a modern foreign language."
I will be driving to Grove City this Friday, it is around a 16 hour drive, and I will be following the ice storm, with my life packed in the back of my Tahoe. Wish me luck, lol.
And because I dont feel like writing on anything actually going on in my life other than the facts, the defacto topic will be my simple amusement at the topic of death. It is just starting to get funny. First Bethany, then Josh, then my Father's close friend dies, then my dog of 14 years was put down the other day, and finally another good friend of the family died today. That puts the count at 4 humans and 1 dog. Or rather, about one every 2 weeks. At this point, I just laugh when I hear about another death. I wonder if that is a bad thing?
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