Why

Once upon a time, there was a kid who cared about the world he lived in. He spent hours positing thoughts and ideas about the world he lived in. But alas, he grew tired of positing simply to receive no response, and so in his high-school immaturity, he gave up on transcribing the interworkings of his heart and mind, and has since then isolated his thoughts and opinions to tragically long conversations with people who barely knew him.

Okay, Im done speaking in the third-person.... just thought I would try it out, lol. Seriously though, I did use to post like crazy when I was younger. Last night, I went through my old xang and started read-reading my posts from highschool. I was supprised, to be honest, not at the "greatness of the posts"... but that I once thought about things in such a way, that I really put forth so much effort to understand my calling, and how to interact with God. I think that I have lost that over the last few years. It is strange how just a year or two outside of any sort of Christian enviornment will change you. I think that for the most part the change has been for the better. I have learned a lot, and matured quite a bit.

However, I think it is time for me to re-emerce myself into the Pursuit of Christ. Psalms 37:4 reads, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” And that is really what I have been trying to do over the last 6 months, is figure out what it means to, and how to “delight yourself in the Lord”. I'm not talking about some extensive, cognitive analysis of the subject, but rather just a gradual process of seeking God and the things that bring me peace. For instance, I have learned over the last month that the only times I feel at peace, and not rushed is when I am reading or talking to someone about life. Anything relating to life in the bigger picture, I am a huge fan of. I guess that is why I post the way that I do. The life that God has given us is what I am passionate about in life. And not just my life, but yours as well. For the longest time, I posted thoughts about life, and then grew frustrated because I felt I was posting in vain. I felt that my words were going nowhere. This was the same with my friendships. I have lost basically all of my friends over the last two years. I am now left with two friends, a good family, and a world of acquaintances. At first, this really troubled me. I felt that I needed the security that a great number of friends offers, but eventually that faded and I realized that life was not about a rat-race for security.

As I started to look at my relationship with God, and the types of relationships we are suppose to have with those around us, I started to laugh at my previous idea of friends. I don't think such a term should ever have existed. What we are suppose to have now are relationships. The number of them is irrelevant, all that matters is the quality. What I want from life is relationships with people. Actual relationships, where we can talk about life, its victories and struggles, without the fear of abandonment or isolation. But, that takes time. So, here I am posting random thoughts.

New rules for my Blog.

1. I cannot spell. I have been informed of this by countless friends, teachers, and family members. I am just going to admit it now, and beg you all to bear with me through my habitual fault.
   
2. Anything I say on this blog is open for critique, criticism, and speculation. Most of the time, I am just offering my opinions on subjects, even though I might state them as facts. So please, if you don't agree with, or feel like questioning something – go for it. I promise you, you wont hurt my feelings, lol.
   
3. I have no clue how often I will be doing this, but I hope once a week. It will depend solely on the amount of time I have.
   
4. If you read my posts, please, if nothing else, say hi. It is nice to know that people actually read these things.
   
5. Please, do not skim my posts. That is annoying. I know my words are long and that I get distracted easily, but I would appreciate your concentration.
   

Okay, that is all for today.

-Z