Music Video of the Day

Compliments of Wojciech... this song is now stuck in my head/ soul.

Plus, given my aforementioned disposition... it works, haha.

Internet Crush

I have an internet crush... it's true.

Fortunately for me, I am just a city boy, raised in south Detroit.

Now if I can just find that midnight train to anywhere.

:-)

Amazing Video of the day

Just watch...

Funny video of the (tues)Day

Why I find this so funny... is beyond me.



And yet... without fail... laughter ensues.... :-)

My favorite parts: Dumbledore's entrance(I dont know why)... and Harry's hip thrusts, lol.

Monday vLog

My Book

I am writing a book about life.

I like the Title: The Naked Elephant

:-)

Nakedness

How do you think our society would change if nudism was encouraged?

It is not a new concept to state that men always want what they cant have. Specifically applied, many guys look at pornography online because of their fascination with sex, and the parts of a woman that they do not get to see on a daily basis.

If women were to walk around nude, and thus nothing was "left up to the imagination"... do you think it would help guys tame their sexuality? Many concervative women use this concept in the opposite manner... encouraging their daughters or friends to dress modestly so that guys will be more drawn to them (leaving more to the imagination... the great snare of men). If that is the case... if imagination ensnares us, then why not remove the imaginative aspect?

This question sounds silly... but it makes sense to me. What do you think the outcome would be if men and women walked around nude?

It seems to me that modesty might just be a way of trapping sexuality in a dark closet... instead of keeping it out in the open where we can actually manage it as a society.

Laws, I break them: Oh the Irony

Okay... someone please explain!

In oklahoma, a 16 year old girl can get married without parental consent...

However, that same 16 year old girl does not have the legal right to disclose to the class whether or not she is taking prescription medication.

WTF?!?

Today in class, we were talking about chemical dependancy... and I asked if anyone was taking Ritalin. Well, it turns out that it is against the law for me to ask such a question... so, setting aside the weirdness of that law (though I understand it).

Someone please explain why our legal system will allow a 16 year old to enter into a supposedly life-long contract with another human that she presumably wants to live with and start a family with... all without contacting her parents. However, that same 16 year old girl does not have the legal capacity to disclose her medical status to the class regarding something as simple as being ADD/ADHD.

Really, if someone has an explanation... I would love to hear it.

I suppose it is something similar to the irony that men are allowed to enlist in the US Military at 18, but not allowed to drink until 21.

Positive Note

So... several of those posts I just did seem a bit on the negative side... so here is something that I DO like...

She made me (a serial blond lover) like brunettes :-)

My Favorite Photo:





Video Montage:

Crutches

I have something against crutches... and awkward moments... like woah!

But this post is about the former, as it would just be... awkward... run!!!

Okay, so I have something against crutches: Chemical, social, philosophical, and pretty much anything else... except medically prescribed physical crutches, lol.

For whatever reason, I dont drink coffee, or energy drinks. I am choosing to not socially drink until I get married. I refuse to smoke as a stress relieve or an anti-depressant. I refuse to take pills to help me get to sleep or to help me feel better about life. I hate when people use anger or sarcasm to prevent talking about what is really going on. I dislike relativists.

So yeah, anything that could be used as a crutch, I generally dislike. Right now, I am single, and I really dont like it. There are girls I could date... but they arent the right girl... and right now, in my life, dating "just anyone", would be me leaning back on a crutch. Sure, it would make me feel better... and I am sure it would make me happy for a time. However, inevitably, I know that it would just end up messing with both of us, and it would just be a step backwards in my life/ maturity.

It is amazing how much I value / am trying to promote and grow my own will power... and yet, at the same time, how very little will power I feel that I have. I mean shoot, it is hard for me to just get out of bed when my alarm goes off sometime, lol.

Oh, speaking of an alarm... me being the naturalist that I am... I am no longer using an alarm. We'll see how this goes.... haha.

Seriously though, I feel like many people have much greater will power than I do. I am a very passionate person... and I ofen have some pretty low "lows"... and I dont like that. However, I know that I can change my own mood... and I do. It just takes time... and I wish I could do it more quickly, or that I could prevent it all together, lol.

Sometimes, I have trouble finishing things... like cleaning my room... because I am not "in the mood"... gosh! why do I have so little will power? This is just insane.

Oh, and by will power... I mean doing what should be done, especially when it is in direct conflict with my mood or my mental/emotional/physical state.

Can you get more will power, or are you just born with a certain exercisable quantity?

modern chivalry

Random thought/ question...

In the modern era of google and facebook.... where is the line between "pursuing" a girl and "stalking" a girl?

In the "olden days", I would imagine you would do your homework on her first... figuring out what she likes and who her friends are before you just dove in blind. How is facebook/google any different than that... other than just being more "through" (haha)

Right now, I am thinking that if the "homework" takes over a few days before you make your move... you are officially a stalker. Also, after said "move", if rejected... further research is considered stalking, unless said person cares to exercise their once-a-month priveledge to study said girl for up to 24 hours before trying a revised version of rejected "move"... after that though, it is terminado.

haha.
wow, talk about mental regurgitation... oh, and no worries... im not stalking... hehehe.
okay, seriously, dont call the cops!... haha

ah, internet sarcasm...

naked in public

Why is it illegal to be naked in public?

Does anybody know?

Also, why is it that in our uprising feminist culture... women still wear tops to the pool or to the lake? If they didnt, they could get arrested... but why?

I would like to know.

love, oh why

If love is a universal... if it is something that is recognizable, no matter what age, sex, or ethnicity you are... if love is a constant, and something that people from all across the world could recognize by only a simple definition... Then why do we all interact with love in such different ways?

Why do some have shotgun weddings, while others date for years and years, still uncertain. Why does it push some to kiss, while other choose to wait. Why do some reserve sex for such an occasion, while others reserve say that wonderful "L" word. Why is it that some find a "one and only" that they love, while others change lovers like underwear. Why is it that "true love" is reserved for those who are older (apparently not attainable by 13 year olds), and yet proven false by the same demographic that does the profiling (divorce).

If love is a constant, than why are our interactions with it so relative and varying?

$1 Billion

My dad sometimes asks the question... "What would you do if you had $1 Billion dollars?"

Today, I am thinking about that question.

If I had $1,000,000,000... I would have to spend approx. $220,000 a day, just to spend the interest the money would be accumulating, invested with an 8% annual return (not that unreasonable).

Honestly, I have no clue... and so I turn the question to you all. What would you do with that kind of bling?

me vs world

For those of you that dont know me very well... you should be warned that I have a very anti-peer-pressure mentality towards life. Quite literally, probably the best way to get me to "jump off a cliff" would be to have a bunch of people telling me to NOT jump, lol

Yes this is weird... but it is just the way I am. (no, I am not suicidal... just trying to illustrate a point) It is not that I am inherently rebellious, but rather, I have just found that I want to go a different direction in life than most people are on the road to. I am not saying that my path is any better or worse.. just different. Hence, the tile quote of my blog.

I am not sure when this started... the whole: "I want a different life than my friends". At times, I have taken this too far... actually jumping off of some cliffs, just trying to NOT be like everyone else. Now, I have level myself out (somewhat), but I am still taking a different path than many of my friends. Like, I said, I am not exactly sure when it started, but I do remember one of my first defining moments... when I realized I didnt agree with the world...

I was probably 8 years old... and it was right after a baseball game... we were all walking in line, and I was wearing red. I was in the middleish of the line, and the kids behind me and in front of me were making fun of some new song. The song: Mmmbop by Hanson. Now, I knew nothing about this song, and so just laughed along with them... I even remember making a mental note that this song was "dorky", though I did not know why. Well, eventually, I listened to the song... and the funny thing was: I liked it. Once more, I could not possibly comprehend anyone NOT liking the song.... Sure this is a juvenile story, but it is one of my childhood memories that I can recall vividly at whim... and I think this is one of the reasons why. This event marked the beginning of me holding a different view than the "popular" opinion.

Sure, being as old as we are now... this sounds silly, as many people like many different kinds of music. To me though, this was in the age of peer pressure overwhelm. And yet, I choose to listen to Hanson despite all of my baseball friends thinking they were horrible. Soon to follow: silly haircuts, being horribly dressed, and arguing with every teacher I had.

In honor of 8-year-old me vs world... here is a song from a great artist:



:-)

Funny Video of the Day

Dichotomy of Business

Thus far, the business world has taught me that, at least on lower levels, the best way to approach your job/ life is to just keep your nose to the ground... and keep walking. Yes, even if they are sending you off the cliff... because it is better for you to jump, and die because of them than to scream "LEDGE"... when no-one cares to listen anyways.

The dichotomy is this: I dont believe in keeping my nose down... and so, the question now is- what do I do about life? lol

Saturday vLog

Part 1:


Part 2:

Response to old vLog

This is a response video to a vLog I did a while back about the Bible "apparently" contradicting itself...

Children

You know, I have never heard a child that was a bad singer. Not only that, but I have never heard a large group of bad singers. Any time a child or a group sings, it doesn't sound all that bad. Why is that?

A sad, sad day...

Enough said...

:-(

Specialization

People should stick to what they are good at... and I mean that in all areas of life.

Dont get me wrong, I am all for expanding your horizons... but, well... maybe I should rephrase my statement:

If someone is really good at something, you should let them do their job... When I get my hair cut, I dont try and describe the style I want... I just tell them to make me look good. :-) When someone comes over to repair the cable internet... I dont whip out my computer knowledge (as it is in a related, but still separate field)... rather, I just let them do their job, and move on with life. When I go to pick out clothes, I usually ask for someone's opinion (that I trust in the style industry)... I know that I am not inherently fashionable... and so I leave decisions of fashion up to them. (by them, I usually mean my sisters, or one of the sales ladies). My only concern is if the clothes are comfortable... after that, I will let more intelligent people make the call on whether or not it looks good.

(begin Lost rant)
When one of the Others cross the island, and Sayid wants to interrogate him to see if he is one of the Others, or just a lost balloonist (as he was claiming)... Jack the doctor should stick to his own freaking business and let the man do his job.
(end Lost rant)

The point is, micromanaging is a bitch. It is better for you and for them (and their growth) to just let the professionals do their job. Sure, a mistake may be made... but at least they learn from it, instead of you becoming more non-trusting of the outside world.

Case in point: Stick to your guns... know where you are weak, admit to it, and adjust accordingly.

Life and such

At some point in my life I would like to:

1) Teach, at college, full time.
2) Be a lawyer... maybe... or at least #6
3) Own several businesses, preferably in the restaurant and hotel arena... or something devoted to serving people.
4) Invent a new technology that makes people's life better
5) SCUBA dive on a regular basis
6) Write a book that people buy because they like it
7) Have a family of my own :-)

Those of Intelligence and the like

\/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/

by

+++The Mentor+++


Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"... Damn kids.

They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him? I am a hacker, enter my world... Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me... Damn underachiever.

They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..." Damn kid. Probably copied it.

They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me... Or thinks I'm a smart ass... Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here... Damn kid. All he does is play games.

They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all... Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again.

They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert. This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all...

After all, we're all alike.

+++The Mentor+++

About me 1-E11.14

I think in questions. Honestly, it's true. I just ask questions to myself over and over again... then once I get an answer, I roll with it. I think I freak some people out, or at least annoy them by asking questions all the time. Honestly, that is just the overflow of my mind.

Here is all you need to know about my inner self.
1) I ask questions, about everything, all the time.
2) The strangest of things fascinate me.... like woah!
3) When my curiosity meets my fascination, I lock on... hard, and then:



:-)

Monday vLog

Random vLog on Polygamy and our Inner Child... no worries, no relation between those two topics... haha. Enjoy!



yes yes... I know J-me... my vLogs are still stupid long and I should get to some point in them... I need to work on the whole vLog thing. See, I dont want to be a "teacher" when I am vLogging... I just want to say what is on my mind... like a video diary of sorts. The problem is... for the most part, I think in questions.

Blarbidy blarb

I want to write about marriage and the garden of Eden... but alas, I can not find the time...

So for now, you get this... Random fact of the day:

My life changes in 8-9 month cycles. Literally, guaranteed, every 8-9 months, my life changes in big and noticeable ways. I am not sure what this means... but it is true. So... yeah. I think I am okay with that. Every 8-9 months, I start a new life. For now... this is a good thing. :-)

Christian mythology and Woman

What do you think the importance is in Christian mythology that woman was created from a piece (specifically a rib) of Adam... while Adam was created by the dust of the Earth?

school colors

This is totally random...

Of the 7 schools I have attended, they all share two sets of colors... here is a list of the schools I have attended in chronological order, and their "school colors"


University School at TU: Blue and Gold
Union Elementary: Red and White
University School at TU: Blue and Gold
Victory Christian: Blue and Gold
Metro Christian: Red, White, and Blue
University of Tulsa: Blue and Gold
Grove City College: Red and White
University of Oklahoma: Red and White


Interesting, huh?

Video of the Day.

The best part of this video... the music. hahaha
;-)

Silly Pre-med students

http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/04/top-5-reasons-t.html

Look at the list towards the bottom of the page... I agree. Well, actually, I dont care if they are pre-med or not.... but people who do any of these things... really freaking annoy me. Especially #1.

Twitter me up!

Okay, so I am trying out this whole "Twitter" business... there is a link to it in the sidebar... at the top. Basically, it is a service that I text with random thoughts or updates throughout the day... and it puts it on my website. It might be really cool... or it might just me trying to have a fake friend to text with random news about my day... it's like having a girlfriend who doesnt scream at you! haha

So, enjoy random status updates about my day. If you feel like positing random thoughts or actions throughout the day... I suggest you click on the "follow me to twitter" link, sign-up for your own account (it is really easy), and start posting.... You can post by Instant Message, by going to the twitter website, or by texting.

When you get several friends who use twitter, the service can text you their posts throughout the day... or email them to you... or not, lol. It is just like a way of keeping tabs on random friends and their days.

haha, this should be interesting.

Video of the Day.

Okay, I am posting this at least 50% just because I love the song.... but at least 40% because this is just awesome to me... and shows some serious talent... or boredom... or both. haha

Enjoy!!

Stupid Zac

It was an hour and a half, tops. I have driven further to meet someone at the lake for the day... and yet, for whatever reason, I never made that drive. Thinking back, I dont know why I was so stupid. It wasnt like I "didnt have the time"... I know I am in a good place now, and so are they... and ultimately, the conversation probably would have been pointless. But of the short list of things that I do regret in life... not making that drive was one of them.

I know this goes against my whole "anti-pessimism" attempt... but in order for me to start making good decisions, I need to get a hold on the bads ones I made... so as to never repeat them. That decision was a bad one.

Dont ever let a 1.5 hour drive, or a 15 minute phone call, or even a 3 hour flight get in the way of you doing the right thing. There is no price that you can put on doing the right thing... not money, not grades, not sleep. If you have a friend and you know you need to see them... take the day off and go. Surprisingly enough... the world wont stop. The sky will not fall. The oceans will not flood. Sure, there will be more work to do when you get back... but there are some people in your life that are worth it.

Dont be stupid like me. Do the right thing.... before it becomes truly pointless.

Shallow Zac

Within the first few seconds of meeting a girl, I decided whether or not I am attracted to them... or will be attracted to them.... Does that make me shallow?

Dont get me wrong... physically attraction is by far not the only way that I sort through whether or not I would like to take a girl out... Eventually, personality, sense of humor, general disposition towards life, and such things take precedent... but at first, physical attraction takes precedence. And just so you know... I am not talking about comparing girls to some "ideal image of beauty". Rather, I am just talking about whether or not "I" am personally attracted to them.

Is that such a bad thing? or am I allowed to be a bit shallow at first?

Funny video of the day.

LisaNova is amazing... and Perez is just bearable... I dont know why I find this so funny. She does other videos imitating Keira Knightley... it is awesome. I posted a link bellow.




Other one of her imitations:
Pirates of the Caribbean - Video 1

Avril, my love

Because Avril rocks, and redheads deserve it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ25-glGRzI


(sorry, embedding was not allowed... stupid RCARecords)

Emotion vs. Logc vLog

I have decided to start putting my vLogs on here... well, the newer ones, lol.
Here is my vLog for today:

Emotion vs. Logic

Hillary vs. Obama videos

I came across these two videos a while back... Lisa Nova is amazing. Let me know which one you all liked more... Enjoy!


Hillary vs. Obama - Take 1




Hillary vs. Obama - Take 2




I liked the second one....

"Interesting fact you may not know... Politicians have to give detailed plans in order for their programs to be implemented... For example, you cant go to congress and say: "Here's my plan, everybody gets the American dream... Yea!""

Funny video of the day.

I found this video about a week ago, and thought you all might enjoy it. It is not like, crazy funny... but my sisters just went through the Prom fiasco, and I spend every day in high school now... so, it makes me chuckle.

Oh, and I really like this girls personality... so that is probably the real reason I am posting this. I like this video because it gives me Hope. :-)

Enjoy!

Anorexic Prom Queens

Changing the way I think...

In my class, we are working on changing the means by which we think... specifically, we are trying to more fully understand the way we think, and modify it according to our desires. Yea... this is really starting to sound strange... let me clarify.

Most people divide the means by which a person makes a decision or choice into two categories, logic and emotion. At any given cross-roads, there are two basic methods by which a person can make a decision... they can either use reason, or use impulse. Until now, life has seem to be a constant struggle between those greedy masters. While logic certainly has its high standing among philosophers and intellects, emotion is what makes the world go round, and for whatever reasons, seems to be the substance that makes life worth living.

I use to be a man of the heart... following my emotions, wherever they may lead me. Eventually though, reality happened, and I was forced to make some decisions based upon "logic" and reason. Now, I use the word forced loosely, obviously, as I believe it was my choice to make those decisions the way that I did. Hopefully, you can see that just in the way I formed that sentence, I am still in a logical frame of mind.

The point of this analysis, or study (whatever you would like to call it), is that I believe there is a third mechanism(?) by which a person can make a decision, and that third level, I believe, it properly utilized, will yield the greatest happiness, function, etc. on the road to making good decisions... or more specifically, on the road to Truth.

Now, I have already writing a blog mentioning this concept, but if you haven't spoken with me personally, you would just think I was crazy if I tried to explain it to you in text... as opposed to thinking me only marginally insane if we were to discuss this in person ;-)

Sometimes soon, I will make a vLog about this, so if you are unclear about the concept of making a decision from the core of your identity or spirit, in search of an absolute Truth, instead of being blown in the winds of circumstance... fear not, I will explain in due time.

This post, however, deals with the way that I think and process things in life right now. Not in the logic vs. emotion world... but simply in the way I look at life. Apparently, my dear anonymous friend will be leaving me for this season, but if they do find their way back to this blog... I suppose this post is my final response to them.


Over the last several weeks, my father and I have had several conversations about the way that I am approaching life. Specifically, he started treating me noticeably better (if that is a word) all of the sudden, about a month or so ago... Honestly, I had no clue what was going on... Almost out of nowhere, he stopped criticizing everything I was doing, he stopped micro-managing, and he even stopped arguing with me about everything. At first, I thought my mother had just gotten to him, and finally convinced him to stop riding my ass so hard. Honestly, I expected him to be back to his good ol' "Push you to greatness by kicking your ass" mentality. However, after a week or two, and he still was acting just as nice, if not even nicer... I finally asked him what had changed.

His response was interesting. He more or less (and not in an accusatory way), told me that he had seen me becoming a person with many traits he did not like... and that he noticed that those traits were ones that I had been inheriting from him over the last several years. Specifically, always looking for "what was wrong" with the situation... My father, since I can remember, always pushed me to be a better person. He was an idealist, and told me that not even the sky was the limit to what I could do. For that, I thank him, as I do believe myself to be an idealist. However, to keep me within the bounds of sanity, or for whatever reason he had... my father interfaced with me in a very unique way. No matter what I was doing, or what job I was working, or what paper I was writing... his first comment towards anything I had laid my hands on, was to point out what was wrong with it. In fact, if I gave him a paper (that I had written) to read, the first thing he would do would be to tell me the things I had done wrong in the paper... and then he would give me the "this paper is really great, good job!"... which, in trying to explain this to you, sounds insane. Honestly, maybe it was... but to me, I just always tucked the "good job" part into my ego, and the "it needs work" into my To Do list... and so life moves on.

Well, after working with my father for the last year in close proximity, he started to notice something about me... that I acted very much like he did when it came to projects or opportunities.... Only apparently, I had taken it way to far. Now, just so we are clear, I am not blaming this on my father... it was most certainly ME who decided to take this too far... however, I offer this conversation with my father as an explanation for my current disposition in life, not an excuse.

So, back to the story... My father noticed that I was a pessimist. Well, perhaps that is not the best word. My father noticed that I had a tendency to first think of everything wrong with a proposal before I would move on to find ways it "could work". And so, he changed the way he dealt with me... and now, I am working on rooting it out of my own life.

It is weird the things you notice yourself doing when you start looking for it. Take for example- working out. Since February, I have been working out at a gym, 5 days a week. [Egotistical side note: I would have you know that I now weigh 185lb (30lb up from last year at this time), thank you very much! :-)] In the last month, I have started to work out with my father... Now what is weird about this is the way we approach the weight we choose to lift. At first, I would always choose lower weight than him... because, well, he is much bigger and strong than I am. However, and this is where things get weird... I started to notice a trend. I would start with a low weight, and struggle with it. Instead of going down in weight, my dad made me go up. I told him it was impossible, but he told me to think positive (to which, I wanted to slap him for... at the sheer impossibility of lifting weight with positive thinking, haha). And so, I would go up in weight, strangely to find actually easier to lift. Next thing I know, I am noticing two mindsets that I could lift weights in. My normal mindset, which would limit me to lifting at least 30lb less than my father's weight... or, I could put all my thoughts aside, and just "decide" that I was going to lift the weight. Next thing I know, I was lifting as much, if not more than him. What is strange is... this transition didnt happen over time. It wasnt that I had "gotten stronger". This change happened in one day, during one workout. Because of changing the way I thought about life/ challenges for just a moment, I was able to lift as much as my father, a man that weighs 30lb more than me (of muscle).

During that workout, a few days ago, I saw the cross-application of how it applies to my every day life. My current mindset, or rather, my current default mindset towards life is pessimistic. During the moments when I am able to set that pessimism aside, I have found that I can do extraordinary things. As of two days ago, I have started working on setting my pessimism aside... permanently. To be honest, I am not sure exactly how it is going to happen. I am quite the idealist... so hopefully that will take over. In truth, there is going to have to be a lot of help from the big man upstairs on this one. However, in time, I expect there to be good change in my life.

I should warn you though, friends of mind... and non-friends out there in anonymous collective. If you thought I was crazy before... just wait until you see me in a few months. ;-)


PS- To my anonymous friend: Just so you know, any time you feel like stopping back into my blog, or life... feel free. You are always welcome.

100th Post!! Drive-Through chicken and taxes

Hope

I watch movies, listen to music, watch vLogs, and teach others because it gives me hope. To me, all of these are luxury items... things I suppose I could technically do without. I do not always pursue these things for this end. Sometimes I watch movies to waste time, or teach the class because I believe in the power of good wisdom in a person's life.

At the end of the day though, these are the little things that give me hope. I am sure there are more... seeing a sunset with a friend in a place you have never been before, watching someone show grace to me while trying to merge onto the highway. Those are things that involve other people though, and to be honest, I do not often find myself at the grace of others. Often enough though to not turn a cynic just yet. :-)

Movies, music, vLogs, and teaching brings me hope. It is not that my life is so dismal, dark, nor depressing... it is just that right now, where I am in life, I am really appreciating hope. I think that is why I do not do well to be alone... for me, in people I find hope. It is strange... I suppose I am not as independant as I once though. I believe that is a good thing. :-)

For those of you that dont know, I write on my walls in my room at home. One of the phrases on my wall, between the two windows looking out into the world, is actually a verse from Romans. It is Romans 12:12, which reads: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

That verse is a small piece of a larger scripture, Romans 12:9-12

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"says the Lord. On the contrary:

"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I suppose that right now, in life, I am learning to hope... and perhaps to love as well... Today was a good day. I do hope tomorrow is better.

.

Sweet tunes... hehe

Enjoy... she is one of my favorites.

As a tip to the listener.... this song is best heard on LOUD.... SO CRANK IT!







There is another Paramore video I would have rather posted... but such is life, I have a conscience, so sue me.

Blogging defined

Ironically, blog is short for "web log", and it was originally created as a literal log of things on the web... The first official "blogger" simply had post after posts of things he fond on the internet that he thought was interesting... he would just post a link and a description.

Now, people like me get to corrupt the system and pretend that a "blog" is just a grown up word for "xanga" :-)

On that note, here is a video that never fails to make me laugh:

Technology: good vs. evil

It is not a new idea technology is changing the way we communicate with the world. Cell-phones, the internet, email, and for that matter... the telephone and writing in even in simplest form. For a long time now, people have been using more than simple speech to communicate their ideas and information from one person to another. Aside from the arts, which I would argue are perhaps more equipped to communicate more complex ideas than spoke speech, the simple lecture or groupings of phrases has evolved in an interesting way as of late.

At first, one man could only be heard to those he could look in the eye. From there, his message would only spread by either himself physically going from person to person, or by word-of-mouth, which often fell victim to the errs of the modern telephone game. Beyond personal speech, people wrote letters, usually to an individual or group of individuals, but also to large groups. In Biblical times, a letter could be send to a church, and that letter would be read aloud, by the messenger, to the entire congregation. Many scholars believe this was the intended purpose of the Book of Hebrews in the New Testament of the Christian Bible. Why would the messenger read it, you may ask, instead of the local pastor? Well, in short, it was the messenger that understood the authors work, who knew when to pause and which parts of the letter to emphasize. Even in letters, a personal touch was needed to convey an idea, thought, or message.

Beyond writing letters, man soon on built amphitheaters, which allowed one man, with only geographical acoustical assistance, to speak to literally thousands, without any need for relay messengers or anything more than simply his voice. Even then, the communication was personal. Though he was speaking to thousands, he could see, smell, and hear the thousands, as they could him. The could hear the way he spoke, and which words contained the higher level of importance. Beyond even his speech, they could read his body language and his gestures.

80% of communication is non-verbal, and so, what happens when we strip ourselves of that percentage in effort to achieve more "effective communication".

The telephone allowed us to hear vocal inflections, and the pen allowed us to see emphasis with change in writing style, capital letters, and other markings that could be made. On this blog, I am limited to adding a bold or italic font to various words, and even that, I try and refrain from, as I fear it would be taken out of context. I once had a professor that even mocked the ":-)" signs we use in emailing, as well as "lol" or "haha", as it not only demonstrated our inability to properly and confidently imply humor or joy, but it also showed us how horribly impersonal our communication was becoming, that we would use symbols or acronyms to try and convey emotion.

Thus enters the 21st century, and the age of text messaging, instant messaging, email we depend on, blogging, and discussion boards. It appears that we have found a more effective way to communicate, or rather, a more abundant form of communication, but in truth, are we saying any more than we use to?

Trusty anonymous responded to my last post with a question. He/She asked me who I was trying to address with my comments or posts. To that, I responded "the anonymous collective", referencing some some lyrics. However, that question raises an interesting point, and one that I would like to address and question with this post.

First, the purpose of my blogging and vLogging. In short, they are both attempts of communication, but to who, and for what purpose? Well, to both questions, I respond, to the anonymous collective, for the purpose of discovering life admits these ashes of dust we have found ourselves in.

When I first began my blog, I had a generally decent grasp of who I was writing to. And therefor, it was to them that I was writing my various posts. Now, however, with the realization of "anonymous observers", my blog has become an open ended conversation with the world at large. Granted, my audience is still fairly limited, as there are only 4 ways to arrive at this page.....Those that are reading this have most probably found their way here through either Facebook (because you know me in real life), YouTube (because you stumbled upon one of my vLogs), Blogspot (because you either know me there, or saw me commenting on a friends blog), or because you were given this internet address by either myself or a friend who told you something to the effect of "this guy is crazy, come and laugh with me at his craziness" :-) I suppose a person could also find this via Google... but that would just be crazy... haha. The point is though, that in some way, you either know me, have seen me (if even through a vLog, or know someone in my world. Therefore, to me, you are worth talking to. (not that I necessarily find strangers worth talking to...lol)

A while back, I finally decided to stop trying to figure out who my audience was, but instead to accept that I am having an open conversation with strangers who have found their way into my world, pseudo-strangers (and by that I mean acquaintances), and those I have found myself fortunate enough to call friends. Therefore, my posts are now aimed at the "anonymous collective", those of us (myself included) who exist here on earth together, who are victims or accomplishments (whatever your outlook) of the society at large as well as your own decisions. These posts are directed to the anonymous collective, who are "molded by things well beyond our acknowledgment".

As for the content of my posts, I assure you that I am not just here to ask questions, but questions are certainly one of my tools in life. For whatever reason, I have chosen to not accept the status-quo as is, but rather, I would like to make my own life out of this time on Earth that I have been given. These posts are written to you, to myself, and to anyone else who feels that engaging in the thoughts presented and discussed in this blog are beneficial, in some way, or at least worth the time it takes to read these posts, if for no other reason than to contrive some form of amusements or to simply check up on an old friend. The questions I ask at the end of these posts, are to those that respond, and to those that choose to simply think about it.... So, that is my audience and purpose. If you find the posts too personal, bare with me, as I am just trying to tell you about myself. If you find them too serious, charismatic, or insane... well, you may just have to deal with it. :-)

Now back to reality.... I say all that to say this: Blogging, while it allows me to get out information, it is still a victim of the social retardation we have seen as a society in the last 20 years. With the advent of email, text messaging, and instant messaging, we are starting to see extremely impersonal communication all around us. What was once a conversation between two people, now often is simple aside after aside, made in one person's desperate attempt for attention. One of the big things that upsets me about blogging is the lack of communication that I have with my readers. Occasionally I will get interactive comments, but many times, all I receive are attacks or criticism. Now, while I do value those opinions, I would hope that my "communication" with the world could be more than just this dreaded cycle of: statement, attack, defense. I wish blogging could be interactive, like a friendship is... however, without that 80%, not to mention the fact that I am blind to who my audience even is, often my ideas are miscommunicated at best. This is why I often ask questions with my posts, and even why I allow anonymous replying to my comments. I want to speak with this "anonymous collective" about life... and not simply lecture AT them.

Well, this post was all over the board... as I am sure that any conversation with me would be. So, I have one closing question for you... and I am sure that it will lead to my next posts... hopefully containing many of your ideas:

Do you think text messaging, instant messaging, and email benefit or harm or society more? Think about it, all the way through, and let me know what your thoughts are. I look forward to hearing from you, even if you choose to post anonymously.

vLog :-)

Okay, against my better judgement... there is now a link to my vLog in the sidebar... enjoy at your own risk.

:-)

MRS degree

I see nothing wrong with traditional gender roles or someone going to college for their MRS degree...

I am not advocating it personally, but I would certainly defend anyone who was attacked for being in that position.

Simply put, if someone chooses to use their time in life right now to prepare to be a great mother and wife, and they are primarily in college to advance their social skill sets, and to find the person they want to spend the rest of their life with... that totally sounds like a good idea to me.

As a caveat of my opinion though... so you know where I am coming from... The reader of this should know that I do not personally think a college degree is necessary to be successful... but I do think having a good family, and being in a relationship that encourages growth and prosperity (in all areas of life) is very instrumental in success after you get out of your time in school.

To me, college is first about learning how to live your life, and second about developing a skill set to make you valuable to society later on. If a woman has decided that she is called to marriage and a family that she would want to devote her life to, then by all means, that is what her time in college should be directed towards. So to that end, I think man hunting = bad... but preparing yourself for marriage, and going into college with the expectation of finding someone to marry = good.

This sounds horrible to make this comparison... but going into college for a MRS degree probably has the same net profitability in its intended major as any other graduate holding a separate diploma.... in simpler words, many people go to college for one degree, and come out with another. It would not surprise me if just as many girls who go into college for their MRS degree find their happily-ever-after (not just A marriage) as girls who go into college for any other degree.

Random opinion... you can direct your knives and fire at someone who is more of a sadist than I... haha.

teaching vs. apathy

Is it possible to teach someone to care about something, or can you only set aflame a passion that already lays dormant within them? Can you inspire a desire for change in someone who sees the topic as irrelevantly at best?

Sometimes, there are things that I believe mean the world... and I try and convey my passion and conviction about that topic to someone else... only to be greeted with blank eyes of boredom. At first, I thought it was my failure to communicate the significance of something... but now I am beginning to think that perhaps there are topics that the majority of the people I come in contact with simply do not care about at all.

In theory, this makes sense to me... I mean, surely there are topics that a person could tell me about that I wouldn't find fascinating... even thought right now I cant think of one, lol. See, it is just weird to me, this entire mindset of apathy. If a person approaches me and shows passion and enthusiasm about something, no matter how naturally mundane that subject may normally appear to me... because of their care for it, I will suddenly start to really care about that topic. It is weird, but true. In a conversation, there is little that does not interest me.

That is why, I suppose, I simply can not grasp how a person who was within 5 years of my own age could be apathetic towards the very real truth that their society was slowly brainwashing and (for lack of a better word) soul-washing them into depersonalized machines.... and yet, today it happened. Today, I tried talking to my class about the necessity to find truth when you are a product of a brainwashed society (including yourself)... and yet it seemed irrelevant at best to them.

I got them to agree that they were brainwashed... and yet, they seemed generally disinterested in how to "unbrainwash" their self... which just blows my mind.

But, such is life, right?
haha! :-)

Random question for all...

As it turns out... I am not very good at communicating... and I tend to tick people off rather easily. That being said, and admitted (no need to drive the stake any deeper, lol)... I have a question for you all.

Think about the people that you like to listen to... I mean, the people that just draw you in. They can be celebrities, YouTube stars, random comedians... whatever. Now, I am not talking about the one-hit-wonders like that amazing guitar player on YouTube, or that MadTV skit Can I Have Your Number... Rather, I am talking about that guy or girl that you Subscribe to on YouTube... or that actor or actress who's movies you go to without even caring what the movie is about... I want to know: What are some characteristics about them that really stand out to you? What is it about those people that make you enjoy listening to them?

They say 80% of communication is non-verbal... and I am searching for those non-verbal attributes that separates the guy that you enjoy being around from the guy you want to throw "knives and other sharp objects" at... haha

YouTube vLogging Here I come!!

Okay, so I have made 3+ videos now... and they are even public (Oh my! )... but for some reason, I am still hesitant to put a link to them on this blog...

I dont know why I am feeling all paranoid about this, but there is just something sacred and personal about this blog... and those who read it... I afraid to link this to the world.... would just be an explosion of horribleness, hahaha!


Hmmmm, time will tell.

Logic vs. Emotion

I am in the middle of reading a book that a friend let me borrow a while back... granted, I should have finished it a while ago, but alas, I procrastinate. Anywho, I recently came upon a section that really meant a lot to me, and so, I feel I will share its thoughts with you.

Generally speaking, people prefer emotional and subtle arguments to straight forward, logical arguments. This may make perfect sense to you, but please refrain from yelling your "DUH"s at me, as this is actually earth shattering to me, lol. I had a post a while back about how I was finding it extremely difficult to communicate with people. In fact, I think I had several posts on the topic. Essentially, I could not figure out why on earth it was possible to convey a single point to someone. Well, it turns out that I was going about it all the wrong way...

In conversation, for the last several months, I have divorced myself from emotional persuasion and subtle manipulation so that I could speak logically and directly with people. This was my way of showing them respect. Instead of using subtle vocal queues, or various emotional tactics to persuade someone, I was using simple and bland logic. Well, as it turns out, when you are blunt and logical with people, it actually offends them.

Now, I am sure at this point, many of you are like "HEY, I like blunt logic"... however, I would argue that you are probably fooling yourself. Or, at least, I was most certainly fooling myself to believe such a statement. While I wanted fairness and openness, what I did not expect was such a great divorce from emotion and passion. Suddenly, I found myself talking about death as if it were some abstract concept, instead of the end of a being's life.

For some brief background... there are probably some things that you should know about me. When I was a kid, I would question everything. More or less, I was this great funnel for "How the World Works", lol. That affinity for knowledge, however, was curtailed by several social concepts around me. Specifically, that a man can not survive reading books all day, lol. Fortunately for me, I was never allowed to camp out in my ivory tower, as my family was and is a very goal driven, success oriented family. When it came to volitle moments in my life, those times when I wanted to hide in my tower to either cry alone, or thrown down rocks from above, (especially once I entered high school) my parents were generally unforgiving towards me being emotionally reclusive. Whether it was something that made me upset or sad, both my father and mother always "resolved" the situation by reminding me that in the "real world", time does not stand still while you work out your problems. Now, in their defense, I do understand where they are coming from. They did a lot of hard work to get where they are at, and they do not want me to be controlled by my emotions in so far as it would hurt my productivity. Essentially, they were saying to me that it is okay to feel sad or alone, but those feelings should not make you hide under your bed.... To be honest with you all, I totally agree with that assessment... even though it was not easy to accept at the time. However, being the overachiever and perfectionist that I am... I believe I took that suggestion to far.

Approximately 7-8 months ago, I ended a relationship that I thought was going to last me my entire life. In ending that relationship, in many ways, I felt like I was giving up on love, on joy, on hope, and on my happy ending. This was one of those moments when I really wanted to hide up in my ivory tower and cry myself to sleep. However, I think I may have done something even worse. Instead of crying in my tower, I read... a lot. More or less, I just shut down emotionally, and decided that logic and reason were my gods. While I still held my faith in God, I most certainly became twisted as an individual. Within a few months, I found myself, for lack of a better term, thinking like an theistic agnostic, or perhaps even an atheist would. These thoughts were not pertaining to God, but rather to the way I lived my life.

I understood that God would love me no matter what kind of person I was, and so I began to question some fundament things about my lifestyle. For example, why I was not drinking.( For those of you who dont know, many years ago, I decided to wait until I was married to drink (for several personal reasons)). However, with my relationship gone, and much hope feeling abandoned, I started to wonder why I was not drinking. Now, just so you know, I am not talking about getting drunk, but rather just socially drinking. Also, I started to question why I was not just "dating around" with not specific goal for marriage. To me, it seemed like the thing to do for people my age, and I knew it would make me feel better, and yet I could not bring myself to do it... and I just did not know why.

Fortunately I was smart enough to realize that I was in a fractured state of mind, and so I did not allow myself to act on any of my decisions for that period of time. One I started teaching, I found joy and hope again in life. My knowledge and reason became extroverted instead of introverted... In time, I felt more confident in many of my personal reasons for abstinence (in many areas in my life). However, the general logic still remained to a large extent. I still felt like logic and reason were far better gods than emotion... and that when it came to conversations, they were best served cold and dry.

For several months, I taught debate at Metro. I taught on the issues, the philosophy, the evidence... you name it, we discussed it. Then came regionals, and I just knew that we were a shoe-in for state. The person who would later win regionals was using one of my sample cases that I presented to the class, verbatim. (his entire case, I defeated in class as an example, long before this tournament). When the awards were announced, I was in complete disbelief that none of my students even made it to the finals.

However, now that is all making a lot more sense to me. The first day after class, I returned and told them something that even I at the time didnt fully understand: "It doesnt matter how right, or intelligent you are... If you cant convey your Truth to a judge, you become irrelevant".

Their struggle was my struggle. Their failure was my failure. I had created intelligent, emotionless machines of Truth and logic. They knew their material better than anyone else. They found ways to be right, on both sides of the resolution... and yet to the world, we were nothing but monsters. It is not surprise that one of my debaters got really low speaking points, even though she is an excellent speaker. That only happens when you piss a judge off.

Through months of logic and reasoning and training, they were no better off than myself. They were right, but irrelevant to the rest of the world.



Now, all of that is about to change. I was once a very charismatic person, and I believe I would like that lifestyle again. It has been months since I have seen myself without dark circles around my eyes... and I think it is about time to remember the reasons why we live and why we even debate in the first place. Debate is suppose to be about conveying truth, not about defeating someone else. Debate is suppose to be about leading people to the light, and not simply being "right" on a given issue. Debate is suppose to be a search, not an Army march. Debate is suppose to be a dance, and instead I have been treating it like a machine.

In life, we do not give out attention or respect to the "right" or the incredibly intelligent... but rather, most people turn their ears to those that draw them in... those who seem to radiate a light that we want. There is a reason why we care what celebrities think about the presidential race... and that reason has nothing to do with their expertise in the field.

In teaching people to "persuade", I was focused on the arguments and the logic, and yet was ignoring the fact that 80% of communication is non-verbal. In the end, I will blame it on me being a man... as any woman knows that "it is not what you say, but how you say it"... :-)

I believe it is time for me to rethink how I am going about communicating to people... and it is about time that I start to capitalize on the skills of my persuasive female friends... seduction, here I come! :-)


Oh, and in response to my last question, this is why I am doing a vLog... because 80% of communication is non-verbal... and therefore text is just too limiting.

vLog

I have officially started my own vLog... and when it doesnt seem so silly, I will post a link to it on here... for now though, it is my private luxury, lol.

Question of the Day:
Why do you think people do vLogs instead of, or in addition to blogging?

socializing gone right

I would really like to have better control of my social interactions... for whatever reason, my natural personality tends to upset people... a side effect that I wish I could avoid. Right now, in life, I am working on being more aware of the way that I interact with individuals, and thus I am trying to optimize myself as a social being.

Any tips?


Oh, and if anybody just so happens to be really good at organizing rooms or mowing grass... I could use help in both those areas too... :-)

well hello there...

I recently decided that I would like to live life with a she-elf... I just think they are incredibly graceful and attractive... or, at least this one is... hehe

:-)

dystopia => truth

It is amazing how many truth parallels I am finding between the various utopias and dystopias I have watched/read and what I consider to be True about the "real world"

Tonight, I watched Avalon... for those of you who have not seen the movie, more or less, it is about a society where people participate in these incredibly realistic video games, and that in the end the video game becomes more real to them than actual reality. In the final level, you are put on "Level Real", where you are now apparently in an even more vividly "real" and appealing life that you live outside of the game, and your end goal is murder. Understandably, this movie can be taken many ways, but I will only speak of the way that I took the movie.

First, the opening lines of the Movie:

The near future. Some people deal with their disillusionment by seeking out illusions of their own - in an illegal virtual reality war game. Its simulated thrills and deaths are compulsive and addictive. Some players, working in teams called 'parties' even earn their living from the game. The game has its dangers. Sometimes it can leave a player brain-dead, needing constant medical care. Such victims are called 'unreturned'. The game is named after the legendary island where the souls of departed heroes come to rest: Avalon.

In this projected dystopia, there were various players of the game... warriors, thiefs, mages, and apparently, bishops. The main character of the film, Ash (interesting name, think about it) was a warrior and she was in search of the level Special A. The way the game worked is you started on Level D (I think), and made your way up the alphabet to Level A. In the world of battle, many chose to fight as teams, but she chose to go solo, which gave her greater flexibility, but less reliability. Eventually, she became one of the best fighters of Level A, but still wanted more. She was after the rumored, "Special A" Level.

Through speculation and investigation, she game to the understanding that the only way to Special A was through "the ghost", and the only way to locate "the ghost" was by either becoming a bishop herself, or to team up with a bishop that was even greater than herself. Eventually, for the sake of time, she chooses the later, and connects with a Bishop that makes her look like a novice (beating her last mission in less time and with more precision, almost to prove he was better than her, and perhaps to draw her into him). Once she decides to seek the Bishop, she is taken through a crazy chain of events. On this path, she discovers a few important things. First, that this Bishop is "in the game, but not of the game". He is a player, with allies that are not other characters. He posses skill beyond hers, and claims to be a protector of the integrity of the game. When they engage in combat together (as a team), he does not go after the big robot that is their ultimate target, but rather supports her and her movements, killing only to protect her in her journey, eventually allowing her to defeat the robot. (Even once she makes it to Special A level, he says that he did not bring her there, but rather, she brought herself. )

Eventually, "the ghost" appears (after her victory in a Level A game with Bishop), and she must engage the ghost to be granted passage to "Level Real" (essentially Special A level). Once there, she is told that this would be a much harder test of her talent, and that there was no time limit, only one choice to make. If she succeeds, she would win the game and be given a chance to be a "High Bishop", just like the one that helped her on her journey to that crossroad. If she does not succeed, than she dies and vanishes into nothingness, or rather "brain-deadness".

The crazy part of this film starts here. See, the entire film, up until this point, was filmed in sepia/ yellow screen. There were strange distortions on the color, and the society was projected to be unbelievably dismal. The weird part is that in "Level Real", the color of the entire movie normalizes, and things finally look "real to the audience". (Sorry for the Spoilers here), but the truth is that such a level was more appealing, better than her current life, and where Murphy (her friend) chose to live, instead of the virtual world of the lower levels, or the real world as he knew it. At the end of the movie, however, she makes her choice, and it is unveiled that this apparent "real world" was not real at all, but in fact just a much better temptation for an alternate reality. (re-read the opening quote now please)

So, my analysis starts here. I think this movie can be a loose analogy for reality. Specifically, I think "the game" is one's quest here on earth for a relationship with God, and "Avalon", or "beating the game", is acceptance of a relationship with God, and thus a promised eternity with Him.

Think about this...On track to Avalon, a warrior must be aided by a "Higher Bishop" so they can find "the ghost" (who is a gate to the Level Real, the level of a single choice to determine your fate). This ghost, I would liken to the Holy Spirit, as He is the one that allows us to make a pseudo-prefallen mindset choice to accept or reject God. The "Higher Bishops", I do believe then, can be compared to be current believers. Not face-name Christians, but True believers. Even the movie makes this distinction when Ash asks if she can just find any Bishop to lead her to the ghost. To that, her friend replies: "No....there were apparently parties trying to make a name for themselves who quickly converted someone to bishop and then went running around on foolish "ghost hunting" expeditions, but it was an utter failure." In the end, what was necessary was a Higher Bishop, someone of a skill level even higher than her own (which was nearly un-heard of, because she was suppose to be one of the best of the best) to fight with her so that the ghost would appear. To clarify now, the "path to Avalon (which was the victory goal of the game)" was that one must encounter a Bishop, (or become one their self) so that they could, through "the ghost" reach a final level where a simple decision was to be made. That decision, would then determine their eternal fate. Come on! This is totally the gospel!

Outside of being introduced to the ghost with the aid of a Higher Bishop, one can even encounter the ghost their self, through becoming a bishop their self... which, according to the Higher Bishop, requires one to sort through an enormous amount of life experiences and data on their own... until they finally reach a point where the ghost finds them and they get to make their decision.

(Now, the one qualm I do have with this theologically is all the work needed to find the ghost... and the whole reality being a game, lol... but other than that, this seems like a close analogy to salvation, or rather, the decision to live a live with Christ, or to choose to not live a life with Christ... to live in the apparent "Level Real", or to make the hard choice and choose that actual Real world, and also "Avalon".)

One of the opening quotes of the movie is the main character, introducing herself by saying:

"Some people think it has no end; you could play for ever and never see the last level. It seems pointless - a game without a goal - but there is a goal; to go beyond the game - to something more"

At the end of the day/ game, we as warriors of Ash (like dust, only burnt, or fallen... think about it) are given a choice... and both sides seem tempting. One one hand, we have a reality that seems far better than even the reality that we know. Parties and success unimaginable. Murphy chose this path, and defined it as his reality. Murphy chose "Level Real" to be his home, and it eventually cost him his existence.

Ash on the other hand chose a different path. Through her own distinguishment, with the aid of the Higher Bishop and the gateway of the ghost, she choose Avalon and actual reality. She chose a noble victory, and chose to go against all apparent logic, and rejected the Level Real as reality. (I can not stress to you enough, those who have not seen the film, that at the moment of her decision, Level Real really seemed like the only true reality) For her own reasons, she made her choice, and was granted a life in Avalon, and the opportunity to become a Higher Bishop that would bring balance to the game, and help others find their way to Avalon.

This is totally life in the Kingdom of God here on Earth! We are fallen people, soaked in the sins of the world... but by the blood of Christ, we are set free from the bondage of our sin! By the aid of the Holy Spirit, we are allowed to make the choice to accept or reject Christ, by our own decision, and not simply by manipulation from God or from the sinful world. Once we have made our decision, we are not swept up to heaven, but rather, allowed to come back into the game, to help others on their quest for Avalon! Seriously, this was an amazing movie.


When the movie first started, and the Higher Bishop was seen as an observant warrior to Ash's game, and at that moment, I said that I was him. After seeing the movie, I still think I am like a Higher Bishop. Right now, I feel it is my place in life to help others make the good choice in Level Real so that they can find Avalon.

And that is it. :-)

Truth, my findings

My anonymous friend recently left a comment that I would like to respond to for the purpose of defining what I believe to be Truth, and more specifically, what evidence I have of this Truth. The comment was the following:

I think you're intelligent enough to know not to teach people things that you know to be untruths. That would go against the Christianity that you hold so dear...I want you to make sure that you're right. Justified, backed up by Scripture and experience, I-know-this-is-absolute-Truth kind of right. Right as in upstanding morality...Because, with all of this introspection coupled with all this isolation in the past few months, you walk a dangerous line of coming to really stunning conclusions or falling into the trap of thinking that you're right all the time because you've had nobody better to compare yourself to. And this isn't just you - anybody would need to watch himself on this issue.

The proposition that logic, evidence and experience determining rightness, ironically, is one of the biggest lessons that I learned in debate. And as such, it is something I have been giving a good deal of thought to over the last month or two (in trying to teach debate at Metro)... and this comment just so happens to illustrate something that I would like to challenge with a theory of my own.

With regards to "right" and also with regards to those "better", or rather, those more knowledgeable or more skilled in discourse or philosophizing than me... I will respond with a story:

When I was at Grove City College, I had this theology professor, an older guy, I think in his 70s, maybe 60s, who taught three of my theology classes. He had his doctorate from Princeton, and was a devout Calvinist. With regards to predestination, he had books and books of evidence, as well as extrapolations from scripture, to prove that he was "right". He has been teaching college for 30 years, he is one of the most intelligent theologians at Grove City, and his office is simply a labyrinth of books at best. I must have listened to hours and hours of a dissertation style proposition and defense of several concepts within scripture, and the resultant truths that he concluded, from years of study and experience, as to the Truth of our relationship with God, with man, and with ourself.... and yet, at the end of the day, he was wrong.

I say this plainly because the idea is simple. This is not an exception to the rule. There are thousands of theologians around the world who have proven their truth. All it takes is a listening ear to know that God does not exist, that God does exist, that God does not care about humanity, that God does care about humanity, that salvation is a myth, that salvation is eternal life with God, that it comes by faith, that it comes by work, that Jesus was a prophet, that Jesus was the son of God.

It appears that rightness is sloppy at best in the field of philosophy and theology. The rules of math do not seem to apply. (Ironically, the rules of math, that there is this provable right and wrong, only apply in simple math. Ask any person who has studied advanced math or physics, and they will tell you that anything beyond simply math is all guess work and approximations at best.)

The point I am trying to contend here is simple. The biggest thing that I learned from being in debate is that: just because someone wins an argument or has more legitimate evidence, does not mean they are right.

Tragic, I know. It kind of rocks the boat of Truth. The reason why I contend this is simple. I do not want to think that anything I hold to be right or true is such because it is an extrapolation of evidence or experience. While I hold both of those in high regards, because of my knowledge of their manipulability, I can not find in them adequate grounds to hold something to be in the realm of "I-know-this-is-absolute-Truth kind of right". To me, evidence, experience, and even logic itself is flexible. I should know, as I have often been the flexor to it time and again over the last several years. Morality included, ask any history major, fluxes with time.

Well, then, what are we left with... Should we simply become but existentialist, believing truth and value to only exist as we feel it should? Do we try and define our own reality from the columns of our insanity? I do not think that is or only option.

To me, as it will forever be, Truth resonates within the soul. This is not a contention, an opinion, or a proposition. This is a fact, or more appropriately, a Truth. In the Kingdom of God, Truth resonates within our spirit.

Today I watched Equilibrium, a dystopia wherein society is "saved" by being stripped of its emotion. Such a decision was necessary, as emotion leads to hate and thus war. The contention was simply, that humanity, as a race, will not survive emotion.... one of the primary contention of the film is that emotion is what makes life worth living. A caste or level system is established, wherein basic human function is at the bottom of the ladder, with emotion being at the top. While one can exist without emotion, such a disposition also strips them of their identity and humanity. Without emotion, life becomes pointless.

On the same tune, I will project my own theory, as an extrapolation from the Truth that I know about this world.... While basic human existence is at the bottom, and emotion is surely necessary to be fully human, I do not find it hard to contend that operation within the spiritual realm is what makes life worth living, and thus the top rung of the social latter. To me, as marriage is to illustrate a relationship between man and God, I do also believe that human emotion is to illustrate a relationship between the flesh and the spirit. Marriage demonstrates a bond between two people, and thus demonstrates our bond with God. In the same way, human emotion demonstrates that there is an unpredictable, intangible to life that makes it worth living, thus showing us that there is a Truth that exist outside of our capacity for understanding.

Simply put, it would take a foolish man to believe that he could understand the world. It is wise man that knows that he can not understand the workings of the world, and thus intelligently adjusts his disposition accordingly. The release of cognitive control of our micro universe is not an act of stupidity or surrender, but rather an act of intelligence. While it may seem that the safest way to live life is without emotion, Equilibrium strongly contends that emotion is worth the risk. In the same way, while it most certainly seems that it is safest to live life rejecting things of the spirit, the kingdom of God contends that the ways God are certainly worth the risk.

In the here and now, the Bible speaks of a war, not of peace. While I certainly view piece as our target, and strongly contended that in the hereafter, there will be eternal peace with God, until then, I believe that our strategies of hiding our heads in the sand simply will not do. Unfortunately for us, there is no Canada to move away to in the fight for Truth. In reality, there is the choice to fight, or to slip away into nothingness, eternally forgotten.

In response to Anonymous, I assure you, I will be teaching only that which I know to be True. However, I should also inform you that such Truth was not arrived upon because of any book, or scripture, or life lesson. Rather, it was a culmination of all of the above, with its Truth sorted by the resonance I feel within myself as part of the Kingdom of God.

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I do offer one final comment to anonymous.... I do value peer input in life. While I do believe that by the spirit, we can distinguish Truth from untruth, the does not mean that I or we can spontaneously construct or regurgitate truth. For whatever reason, I do strongly believe that we are social creatures, instructed to live a social life.

With that in mind, I would ask you for your continued input on my earth shattering ideas. And please, if you objected to one of my ideas, give me convincing reasons why, so that we can discuss concepts in their entirety and not simply throw around shocking phrases or titles like only amateurs would. If logic, evidence, scripture, and experience are what you believe to determine "rightness", then when you object to the rightness of any of my ideas, please respond with adequate quantities of each so that we can have a full conversation.

purpose of blogging

Today in class we discussed the purpose of blogging. Opinions aside, this is what I feel is the purpose of blogging:

Blogging is an attempt to communicate. In today's market, there are a variety of ways that an individual can express their self and communicate with the outside world. Blogging is a way to communicate, without interruption, a single or stream of thoughts or ideas to an audience that cares enough to at least read what you have written, without being obligated to continue reading/ listening by social formalities.

Within the blogosphere, social cordialities, for better or for worse, take a back seat to the transfer of information. While this unfortunately develops individuals into malformed social entities, until then, it does hold the capacity for unadulterated communication, for whatever purpose one would have to communicate.

Within the world of communication, people convey thoughts, emotions and ideas for both good and bad reasons. Recognizing blogging as a medium/ method allows us to then remove the negative connotations from blogging to view it in proper light. In other words, before we negatively evaluate blogs, we should perhaps first take into consideration the general stereotype of bloggers by whom's blogs we are judging the great blogosphere that is.

Source aside, I do believe that blogging both has its advantages, as listed above, as well as its disadvantages, which I believe to still be within the bounds of disadvantage that a book must overcome. As long as we as a society can find value in literature, I believe, if viewed properly, we can also find great value in blogs.

The question now is, what is proper social etiquette in the great world of blog.

hope quotes

To me, hope makes life worth living. Whether that hope is an idealism, or a subconscious dream... to me, as it will forever be, hope makes life worth living.

Below I have two quotes on hope. The first is self-insipiring. The second is the reason why I am leaving my family to go and fill my own cup. I hope you enjoy them.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

-Alexander Pope,

And the second...

Insist on yourself; never imitate. Your own gift you can present every moment with the cumulative force of a whole life's cultivation; but of the adopted talent of another you have only an extemporaneous half possession...
Do that which is assigned to you, and you cannot hope too much or dare too much.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Meyers-Briggs Personality

Following the lead of my friend Shayna... I decided to take a personality type test. I have taken this one before, and achieved the same result... so this should be fairly accurate. What do you think?

The Portait of the Teacher (ENFJ)



The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word "education," it has to be "educed." by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the eNFj, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.

Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.

The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.

Mikhail Gorbachev, Oprah Winfrey, Pope John Paul II, Ralph Nader, John Wooden, and Margaret Mead are examples of Teacher Idealists.

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All Idealists share the following core characteristics:

* Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
* Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
* Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
* Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

Idealists as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self--always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

addendum to choice

Just to be clear... I do see the heart of what Anonymous was trying to say with their comment... that I should only teach truth and not simply brainwash people with speculation... to that, I assure you that I most usually draw clear lines, in any conversation, between speculation and what I hold to be true.

I do thank you for your words of wisdom though, as I have had the tendency in the past to simply try and convince everyone of every new thought in my head....

Okay, I think my position is clear... I hope my last post was not offensive... lol

people and their choice

The beautiful thing about the state of humanity is that we are defined by our capacity to make decisions. While some would argue that a person becomes more and more capable of of making "better decisions" as they grow older, I suppose that you could also argue the opposite, that as people within a society grow older, they not only become more "stuck in their ways" (for better or for worse), but there is a general indoctrination that occurs by one person being within the same group for a long enough period of time. No matter how "independent" you may be, your peers inevitably will have an effect on your life... pushing you towards something they endorse, or away from it by your own observation and decision to not follow such a lifestyle.

What separates us from all of creation, including the animals is that we have a distinct and capable ability to choose. So great is this capacity, that God even hangs our eternity upon the ability to make a decision. Granted, he does help to influence the decision by allowing us to make a decision through a pre-fall mindset (with the aid of the Holy Spirit), but at the end of the day, it is our choice.

In fact, I would go as far as to say that "choice" is the very thing that defines us as individuals. While we are all born with different traits and characteristics, I strongly believe that we define our own identity by the decisions that we make day in and day out. Call me crazy, but I believe that you can choose the type of person you want to be in life.

From a Christian view, I believe this is what salvation is all about. I do not believe that salvation is simply choosing between heaven or a lake of fire... but rather that we are here on earth, given a lifetime to decide if we want a relationship with God. If we choose yes, then after our death, we are given eternity with Him. If we choose no, then God, in his benevolence, allows his creation to live in eternal separation from Him. While this is often discribed as a "lake of fire", I am totally fine with that discription being metaphorical, as a Christian would surely view eternity with out God to be a lake of fire. To those who reject the Christian truth, they are given what they asked for, to finally be left alone for all of eternity.

At the end of the day though, the concept of salvation, to me, is all about choosing God or rejecting Him. To those that choose God, they will get what they want (by the mercy and grace of God). To those who reject Him, they will be forever left alone. While such a decision breaks my heart over and again, it is still their choice, and one only they can make. Sorry to any Calvinist out there, but I fail to believe that God forces anyone to accept Him.


In response to an Anonymous post on my last entry, requesting that I be completely sure of whatever I am teaching... I say thank you, but no thank you. I do not think it is necessary to fully verify everything that I "teach" to the nth degree. Every day, I will go out into the world with the Truth that I know, and the humbleness of knowing that I am still maturing as a person. With regards to my interaction to society, I would hope that at the end of the day, someone found some trait or piece of information in me worth holding on to. If not, then I would hope that I showed them something or someone that they did NOT want to be later in life.... While it is always good to lead by example, I dont think that example must always be the correct example.

At the end of the day, people must decide for their own self what truth or principles they are willing to accept and implement into their own life. If they do not accept what I am offering, then I hope that they at least make a decision in another direction so as to get them out of the luke-warmness of indecision.

When I said that I wanted to teach no matter where I am going or what I am doing, I mean that as a person, I want to challenge people to change and evolve. The direction that evolution goes, however, is their decision not mine.

That being said, I do ensure you reader that I push people only in the directions that I believe to be correct and true. It would be absolutely horrible if I were simply manipulating people in a direction of evil or injustice. If that were the case, then certainly your comment would hold weight. However, as of now, for whatever it is worth, I ensure you that I am not out to manipulate any of the people that I come in contact with. My job, as a friend to those I meet, is to push people to finally own their thoughts, own their faith, and own their identity. Whoever they end up being later in life, I want it to be their choice, and not simply a byproduct of the indoctrination of our society.

Whether or not you agree with society's projection of truth, I think you can agree that it is important that every citizen to hold their own beliefs for their own reasons, and not simply try to "fit in with the mold" because the mold exists.

At the end of the day, I want people to know where they stand in life, instead of being pushed around by one good sounding philosophy after another. I would hate for anyone to show up on judgement day saying "maybe".