Crutches

I have something against crutches... and awkward moments... like woah!

But this post is about the former, as it would just be... awkward... run!!!

Okay, so I have something against crutches: Chemical, social, philosophical, and pretty much anything else... except medically prescribed physical crutches, lol.

For whatever reason, I dont drink coffee, or energy drinks. I am choosing to not socially drink until I get married. I refuse to smoke as a stress relieve or an anti-depressant. I refuse to take pills to help me get to sleep or to help me feel better about life. I hate when people use anger or sarcasm to prevent talking about what is really going on. I dislike relativists.

So yeah, anything that could be used as a crutch, I generally dislike. Right now, I am single, and I really dont like it. There are girls I could date... but they arent the right girl... and right now, in my life, dating "just anyone", would be me leaning back on a crutch. Sure, it would make me feel better... and I am sure it would make me happy for a time. However, inevitably, I know that it would just end up messing with both of us, and it would just be a step backwards in my life/ maturity.

It is amazing how much I value / am trying to promote and grow my own will power... and yet, at the same time, how very little will power I feel that I have. I mean shoot, it is hard for me to just get out of bed when my alarm goes off sometime, lol.

Oh, speaking of an alarm... me being the naturalist that I am... I am no longer using an alarm. We'll see how this goes.... haha.

Seriously though, I feel like many people have much greater will power than I do. I am a very passionate person... and I ofen have some pretty low "lows"... and I dont like that. However, I know that I can change my own mood... and I do. It just takes time... and I wish I could do it more quickly, or that I could prevent it all together, lol.

Sometimes, I have trouble finishing things... like cleaning my room... because I am not "in the mood"... gosh! why do I have so little will power? This is just insane.

Oh, and by will power... I mean doing what should be done, especially when it is in direct conflict with my mood or my mental/emotional/physical state.

Can you get more will power, or are you just born with a certain exercisable quantity?