backwards

As it turns out... I often am the victim of backwards conclusions.

When I try and be nice, it comes off as mean.
When I try to treat someone as my equal, it is taken as me looking down upon them.
When I try and speak calmly, I am taken to be argumentative.
When I do not speak at all to keep the peace, I am labeled as an instigator.
When I try to treat someone with respect, often times they are simply offended.

Will someone please explain to me what the HECK I am doing wrong here? Over the last several years, I have completely unintentionally (and not by negligence mind you, but by action) ticked off tons of people, and honestly, I have no clue why. Either their is some mental block between me and the rest of the world, or I am simply a victim of backwardness.

Still not sure about all this, but I am trying to sort things out.