The Depression of Self-Death

I have been in the absolute worst mood for the last month or two. At first, I thought it was because of my recent break-up... then I blamed it on being without many friends... then I blamed my parents, and my sisters..... but after all the crap settled, I finally have found out that it was my fault.

See, at some point, I stopped dreaming, or rather, taking my dreams seriously. I have always been a guy of great imagination, however, after seeing myself fall short time and time again of my dreams, I started to treat my dreams as if they were nightmares. For several weeks, I had emotionally traumatizing dreams of rejection, failure, etc. etc. And I just got to this horrible feeling of deathly depression. It got so bad that I was fighting just to continue breathing. I mean, I was seriously upset that breathing was so hard. Yes, I know it sounds silly, but I was.

Now, I have a new plan. Dream big, write it down, and believe it. I dream up all these wonderful things every day, but I never write them down, and so they are lost within me. Over time, these dead dreams just stacked up, and eventually started to choke the life out of me. That will not happen again. From time to time, I might share some of them here with you all, but many of these will be kept in my newfound "DREAM JOURNAL". I know this sounds wack, but you all out to give it a try. Everyone dreams of a better life from time to time. Well, when you dream it, write it down. If nothing else, it will help the memory linger longer.

Plus, no great things was accomplished without being written down. Think about it, all great movements centered around some document or speech. It is not that the speaker was necessarily great, but rather that words allow us to create anchors. I was creating negative anchors based on failure. Now, it is about time I created some positive anchors based in hope and expectation.

Worst case, I fail, and end up right back here again... ready to try something else.

Has anybody else ever kept a dream journal?